Rants and Raves from a proud card-carrying, unilateralist and simplistic American member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Oh, and full-time Emperor and Ruler of All the Known Universe and Every Last Organism in it as well.




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I'm a Proud Friend of Israel...

Are You?
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 04:03:00 PM

 

Christopher Beat Me To It Again...

I was perusing the "columnist" section of the Dallas Morning News this morning, when I came across one of the usual screeds about how the poor Moslems of this country are in mortal danger of reprisals on the 1 year anniversary of Black Tuesday.

Not that they are in any way in danger of "reprisals", I think the lack of pogroms after the actual 9/11 proved that beyond any reasonable doubt (and I'm very proud of that because, no matter what you think, the vast majority of Moslems in America are as innocent as any Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran or any other denomination you can mention), but "anything to sell a column", right?

Well, I was warming up to give this column a thorough Fisking™ when I realized, through my daily browsing through all of the links on my blogroll, that Christopher Johnson of the Midwest Conservative Journal had beat me to it. Not with that particular article, but with one disturbingly similar to it.

I really don't have anything to add to what Christopher says, so I can only urge you to go read it, right now.

And Chris, you're going to the "Leaders of the Pack" section right now.
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 03:55:00 PM

 

I'm Utterly Disgusted...

Over at "The Ville", an excellent blog, there's this link to something so outrageously atrocious that I'm not quite sure if I should link it at all...

But it's important that we understand who, or should I say "what"?, we are fighting, so I'll pass the link on.

WARNING: This 2.2 meg mpeg video is extremely disturbing and I do, in the strongest terms possible, advice against watching it if you are, in any way, prone to strong reactions, physically or emotionally, when watching extremely graphic material. The "gassing puppies" video, horrible as it was, is nothing compared to this display of what "Peaceful Islam" does to alleged "collaborators".

(Link via Susanna Cornett of Cut On the Bias fame.)
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 03:44:00 PM

 

OK, this has to be the Inspiring Metaphor of the Week:

Reader Dave offers the following in the comments section to the "I'll Put It More Bluntly" post:

...And THEN we can begin peeling back the Foreskin Of Ignorance that has been sheathing the Arab dickheads so far, and start vigorously applying the Wire Brush Of Enlightenment.

Dave, once I get done not hurting from simply reading that one, I'll get around to applauding you vigorously....

posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 03:12:00 PM

 

Tali-Boy Trying To Get Out Of Jug...

And what a compelling case he makes:

Lindh never contemplated that he would be fighting in a war that Americans would enter, the lawyers said. He now believes he made a terrible mistake by enlisting with Afghanistan's former harsh Islamic rulers and wants Americans to forgive him, West [traitor's attorney -ed.] said.

The little snot is not sorry for what he did, he's sorry he got caught... Filthy traitorous bastard...

''He made a mistake. He admits he made a terrible mistake. No one wants to be judged by the worst mistake they made when they were 20 years old.''

Hear this sound? It's the world's smallest violin etc...

He is confined to his cell virtually the entire day except for the debriefings, family visits and meetings with his lawyers. He hopes to soon be allowed in an outdoor prisoner area.

I hope and pray that he'll soon be released to General Population...

West said Lindh did not know that al-Qaida ran or financed the camp, even though Lindh told a television interviewer after his capture late last year that he thought the facility was financed by bin Laden. He was simply relaying what he had heard from other soldiers, the lawyer said.

Oh, that makes it OK then...

''John has not once exhibited any degree of bitterness or resentment as a result of his situation,'' the lawyer said.

It's not like he has any actual grounds for bitterness or resentment, being a traitor to his own country and all...

I find myself in disagreement with Bill Quick for once, which is a very rare thing indeed. He states that:

if he is truly cooperating with the authorities and providing information that may help us in the war on his former compatriots, as well as saving American lives in the future, then I hope he receives whatever leniency is available to him in the results of his court sentencing deal.

While I totally understand the sentiment behind this, Bill, I firmly believe that the fact that Johnny, being a traitor, hasn't been blind-folded and shot already is about as much leniency as he can legitimately expect. Him paying back by providing us with information is the least thing he can do to make up for the wrongs he's committed, it shouldn't be grounds for making an already ridiculously mild sentence any milder...

I don't really care if he was "a fool seduced by a murderous cult religion who became a murderous fool", the victims are just as dead as a result of his inaction and, by all that is right and good in this world, he should be too...

Oh, and on a personal note: Having been in a situation, as a result of my professional life, where I could easily have "aided and comforted" the enemy, simply by passing on classified information, I can tell you that if I'd ever been despicable enough to do so and had been caught in the act, I would expect nothing less than a firing squad, no matter how many tear-jerking excuses I could come up with.

Treason is treason and should be punished accordingly.

The only thing we gain from not doing so is to encourage more traitors, because the consequences "aren't all that bad"...
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 02:03:00 PM

 

Killing Off the Population...

Zimbabwe has unequivocally come out against accepting those "evil" GM foods from the wily Merkins while the population is starving to death. Thus reporteth Reuters (one man's news agency is another man's Michael Moore nekkid):

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Zimbabwe will not accept genetically modified (GM) foodstuffs as part of mostly U.S. aid shipments to its famine-threatened population, its agriculture minister, Joseph Made, said on Saturday.

``We do not accept genetically modified material into Zimbabwe,'' Made told Reuters in Johannesburg following the arrival of President Robert Mugabe for the Earth Summit.

Of six southern African nations threatened by famine, Zambia has also rejected GM grain. Most of it comes from the United States, which is providing the bulk of food aid in the region.

Zambia has said it shares European fears that GM is not safe and wants its own scientists to probe the issue.

...so while you round up the local shamans and members of Greenpeace to provide you with a "neutral and unbiased" point of view, you're quite happy to let a couple million of your people starve to death?

Western nations have accused Mugabe's government of hurting output in southern Africa's ``breadbasket'' through land seizures from white farmers.

...of course, that's only an "accusation", according to the impeccable "reporters" from Reuters.

Asked if he was prepared to discuss the aid issue with U.S. officials at the Earth Summit, Made said: ``There is nothing to discuss...You can't use the Zimbabwean population as guinea pigs...

Newsflash, you filthy son of a syphilitic sow: We've been using ourselves as "guinea pigs" for quite a long time now and, miraculously, we're still alive and well...

Murdering Bastards...
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 01:36:00 PM

 

"Evil Merkins" Watch...

"The Independent (...of critical editing)" once more has the scoop on the Wily Westerners trying to rape and pillage the world's poor, oppressed and huddled masses. Just listen to this:

North America will benefit from global warming, say researchers

By Geoffrey Lean in Johannesburg
31 August 2002

Poor countries will suffer massive losses of food production and agricultural land as global warming takes hold but North America will benefit, a United Nations report released at the summit said.

The conclusions – which add a new dimension to the Bush administration's rejection of the Kyoto Protocol to combat climate change –

Surely even the "Daily Fisk" can't be that paranoid, can they? Of course they can:

The report – prepared by the International Institute for Systems Analysis in Austria for the United Nations – is based on a series of sophisticated computer models of climate and food production from some of the world's leading institutes in the field.

It says that arid areas will get larger in developing countries worldwide. Growing crops will become much harder in Southern Africa, where another 11 per cent of its total land area "may suffer from severe constraints" on agriculture by the year 2080. Central America and the Caribbean, Australia, Northern Africa, and the Middle East will also lose available land.

Parts of Europe – and particularly Britain, Ireland and Spain – will lose good land because rainfall patterns will change, bringing drier summers. But other parts, such as Scandinavia, will gain when cold northern areas warm up.

Northern America and Russia will also gain land in that way and are expected to be able "substantially" to increase production.

Shit... These "Independent" journos are just too smart for the likes of us... I guess we might as well come out in the open with it then:

Yes, our opposition to the Kyoto World Socialism Contract Treaty has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it's based on assumptions, guesses and junk science. Nosirree... Not only is the Treaty absolutely right on the money, our government has, for the last decade or so, been working on a Sooper Sekrit Project (complete with black helicopters and mysterious disappearances) to figure out just exactly how we can make the "Global Warming" magically affect anybody but us so that we could finally achieve our long ambition of RULING THE WORLD, Bwahahahahahah!...

Wait, we already do? And now you tell me? Well thanks a million!

Idiots...

Next thing they'll be blaming us for starting WWII... Wait, they already have?. Those damn journalists, they're gonna be the end of us all...

UPDATE: No, I'm not kidding you. These Idiotarians really claim that our rejection of the Kyoto Treaty is not based on it being a stupid attempt at crippling the American economy, but rather that we already knew that "global warming" would hurt everybody except for ourselves... These morons really need to adjust their tin foil hats...
posted by Misha at 8/31/2002 01:14:00 PM

 

I'll Put It More Bluntly

From the latest Mark Steyn:

Look, I'm sorry if some school kids aren't feeling chipper. Tough. But 3,000 people died on Sept. 11, leaving a gaping hole in the lives of their children, parents, siblings and friends. Those of us who don't fall into those categories are not bereaved and, by pretending to be, we diminish the real pain of those who really feel it. That's not to say that, like many, I wasn't struck by this or that name that drifted up out of the great roll-call of the dead. Newsweek's Anna Quindlen "fastened on," as she put it, one family on the flight manifest:

Peter Hanson, Massachusetts

Susan Hanson, Massachusetts

Christine Hanson, 2 Massachusetts

As Miss Quindlen described them, "the father, the mother, the two-year old girl off on an adventure, sitting safe between them, taking wing." Christine Hanson will never be three, and I feel sad about that. But I did not know her, love her, cherish her; I do not feel her loss, her absence in my life. I have no reason to hold hands in a "healing circle" for her. All I can do for Christine Hanson is insist that the terrorist movement which killed her is hunted down and prevented from deliberately targeting any more two-year olds.

I'll put it more bluntly, and you can call me a heartless warmongering son of a bitch if you want, I don't give a flying f*ck:

The best way to honor the Hanson family is to not merely hunt these swine down, but to eradicate them and their perverted offspring, to stomp their radioactive remains into the ground, plow the land they lived upon and salt it. Then nuke them once more, just to be absolutely sure that that particular piece of land never again gives birth to swine who would cheerfully murder a two-year-old and her entire family, just because it gave them a hard-on to murder "infidels".

And, with that in mind, I'll go back to writing my September 11th post. If you're faint of heart, I can only advise you to steer well clear of this 'blog on that date, because I'm angry! I'm pissed off and ready to spill blood and I don't give a sh*t how many people come forward and ask me to "understand" and "feel their pain". Those filthy swine murdered 3,000+ of my countrymen, people who'd never done them any harm, and they did so in cold blood and even celebrated the event afterwards.

If you expect me to show "pity" and "understanding" towards unworthy creep like that, you're gonna be sorely disappointed, because the only regret I'll have when they're all dead is that I couldn't kill them more than once.

Oh, and I still don't have a link on Pejman's blog... Not that I'm bitter or anything... ;-)
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 10:04:00 PM

 

OK, I Just Can't Live With the Shame No Mo'

I was obsessively perusing my "referrer" log when I came upon a strangely familiar blogname... Once I was done banging my forehead against the desk for not linking it already (and swallowing a couple of Aleve™ to alleviate (how the Hell do you think they came up with the name?) the results of the aforementioned banging), I immediately corrected the error.

And no, the fact that Velvet Hammers is a smashing, Sekimori-designed site had nothing whatsoever to do with the permalink.

But I still wouldn't be caught dead without visiting it regularly. You do the same.
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 06:06:00 PM

 

Neener, Neener, Nee[BOOM!!]

"The Independent (...of connection to the Real World)" brings us this report of Sammy bravely mooning the US:

Iraq has mocked America's plans for a military campaign to displace Saddam Hussein, saying that Washington is mistaken if it thinks the task would be a replay of its successful ousting of the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Oh, but Sammy, we know that it won't be a "replay". This one will be immensely more satisfying. I plan to tape the whole thing...

Baghdad, which in recent days has veered between outright defiance of the United States and signalling an interest in a diplomatic solution, may have been emboldened by the crumbling of support for American action in many European capitals.

I was hoping that Sammy would buy it, but I didn't think he could be that stupid... Seems I was wrong about him...

In Europe, leaders such as President Jacques Chirac of France have given fresh voice to concerns that the US would violate international law if it took military action unilaterally.

...and the French Gendarmes would immediately arrest us all and cart us off to the "International Jail" if we did.

I'm positively terrified. In order to defend myself against this "threat", I might even have to relearn how to say "piss off, asshole" in German.

Wait a minute, here it is: "Hau ab, du Arschgeier!"...
(Yes, I know... "Arschgeier" actually means "Ass-vulture", but the more correct "Arschloch" is so over-used...)

Oh shit, my email is gonna die under the pressure of the badly worded 20 million French offers of unconditional surrender that I'm going to receive in the next 24 hours.

But, in Beirut yesterday, the Iraqi Vice-President, Taha Yassin Ramadan, poked fun at the notion that America would prevail. "We don't want to compare the two; Iraq is not Afghanistan," he said "I believe that the US administration is convinced of that."

You know, much as it's very "brave" of you to "poke fun" at the US from Beirut, it's generally considered somewhat stupid to issue a dare to the biggest bully on the playground.

Famous Last Words™.

Iraq's more defiant statements are primarily aimed at rallying Arab opposition to an American assault. Mr Ramadan added he was working with other Arab governments to forge a common position critical of Washington at a meeting of Arab League ministers next week.

However, Iraq also manoeuvered to take advantage of growing schisms in the EU and even within Britain, the only likely ally of the US in the event of an attack.

Tony Blair faces deepening resistance within his own party to a policy of supporting President Bush. A recent survey showed almost two-thirds of Labour Party constituency leaders are strongly opposed to any such alliance between London and Washington.

Also notable were comments from President Chirac, who called the possibility of unilateral US action "worrying" France and other countries are arguing the US should not act without a fresh UN resolution. Gerhard Schröder, the German Chancellor, urged President Bush to take note of European hesitation. "If consultations are meant seriously, they must not just be about the how and the when but also on the question of whether this is done at all," he said yesterday.

Chirac and Schroeder are "notable" in the same way that a squirrel is "notable" when you're driving at big-rig down the I-20 at 80 mph, but let's not let all of the air out of their balloons at once, right? That would be mean, after all.

You know, it's actually kind of fun to watch the EUnuchs slide into obscurity...
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 05:52:00 PM

 

Didn't Somebody Mention That They Were Gonna Shut the F*ck Up?

Well, they seem to have changed their tune (again) according to this latest whine brought to you by AP and Dallas News:

PARIS – French President Jacques Chirac insisted Thursday that any military action against Iraq be decided by the U.N. Security Council, joining the chorus of leaders who have urged Washington to exercise restraint in its plans against Baghdad.

In a speech to French ambassadors in Paris, Mr. Chirac called the possibility of unilateral U.S. action "worrying." He said it would be contrary to "the cooperation of states, the respect of law and the authority of the Security Council."

Must...resist...urge...to shout: "AND YOU SAY THIS IS A BAD THING?"... Oops... slipped...

Mr. Chirac's comments come as the Bush administration is considering actions, including the use of force, to remove Iraqi President Saddam Hussein from power. Washington accuses Iraq of rebuilding facilities to produce weapons of mass destruction.

..which, as AP successfully insinuates, is of course totally untrue. Baby Milk Factories™, that's all it really is...

Mr. Chirac's speech firmly put France on the list of nations urging Mr. Bush to go slow on any war plans.

You say that as if they weren't on The Shit-List already? It's funny how it was only yesterday that they declared that they were going to shut their pie holes, though. I suppose they got tired of waiting for the Pentagon to "go crazy" because of their silence. I told them it wasn't gonna work...

The German chancellor called on Washington to consult fully with allies on its plans, and the British Foreign Office suggested setting a deadline for Mr. Hussein to allow the return of U.N. weapons inspectors.

OK. How does tomorrow morning by 9 am sound to you? Not so good? Oh well, too bad... OK, we tried now...

The Iraqi government said Thursday that it was ready to negotiate.

Mr. Ramadan, you're standing in a puddle of apple juice...

Oh, it isn't apple juice? So sorry, I could've sworn...

"There's still room for diplomatic solutions to avert a war with the United States," said Iraqi Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan, who met with Syrian officials in Damascus.

"We take the American threats seriously, as we know the administration is mad and criminal," Mr. Ramadan said before heading to Beirut, where a meeting with Lebanese President Emile Lahoud was scheduled for Friday.

"The fact that the Merkins are pissed off and raring to go, not to mention the fact that they could wipe us out in a New York Minute, has absolutely nothing to do with it!

The French president, who has expressed strong support for U.S. demands that Iraq accept the weapons inspectors, reiterated his view that the United Nations should be consulted before an attack on Baghdad.

"If Baghdad persists in refusing the unconditional return of inspectors, the Security Council will have to decide which measures to take," Mr. Chirac said in his speech at the Elysee presidential palace.

That's fine... Y'all have a good old time deciding while we beat the snot out of the 'raqis... We'll send you a postcard...

With discussions of invasion building steam in the United States, European leaders scrambled to get Bush officials to consult more closely with them before acting.

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, a critic of an attack, said it would not be sufficient for Washington to simply provide allies with details of its plans.

"If consultations are meant seriously, they must not just be about the how and the when, but also on the question of whether this is done at all," Mr. Schroeder was quoted as saying in an advance copy of Friday's edition of the Muenchner Merkur daily.

Heard at a press conference in Germany:

"So who is it we're supposed to be covering today, Jim?"

"I think it's the German Chancellor... Schulz, nah, Schmidt... No, Gephardt Schroeder... or something..."

"Oh great... What's Pete doing today?"

"He's covering a Bavarian Conference on the new EU rules for turnips..."

"That asshole always gets the good gigs..."

U.N. inspectors charged with confirming the dismantling of Iraq's mass-destruction weapons have been barred from Iraq since 1998. Three rounds of talks between the United Nations and Iraq this year failed to persuade Baghdad to readmit the inspectors.

...not that this in any way indicates the value of initiating a fourth round of "talks", of course...
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 05:30:00 PM

 

Where's the Meat?

Mr. Steve Stone of LA, California, has had a revelation. He doesn't bother to tell us poor readers of the Dallas Morning News just exactly how, where and under what circumstances he had this revelation, much less does he offer us any details about the specifics of his "Moment of Truth™".

This is all good and well, but unfortunately he feels the need to share his delusions with us poor Texans:

Our planet cannot sustain a meat-centered diet – it's only a matter of time. ...

Damn! That's gonna piss off a lot of carnivores! Thanks for letting us know...

Please research that and write about that now.

You know, Mr Stone(d), that reminds me of an old USENet saying. Fellow geeks may remember it too:

Do Your Own F*cking Dirty Work!

There, much better now...
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 05:02:00 PM

 

Bureaucracies NEVER Work...

Bill Quick observes:

The FBI's performance, (and that of other security agencies as well) has been miserable on the issues of terror and the defense of the American people over the past months and, probably, years. Riddled with instutional perversions like the insane focus on the War On (Some) Drugs, the Bureau has become hidebound, bureaucratic, instutionally both rigid and timid, and mistake-prone beyond all reason or understanding. And yet nothing happens there, nobody is disciplined, and the top officials continue bumbling along as if they and their minions are permanently immune to any sort of oversight, no matter how ludicrous and even dangerous their performance becomes.

...and that last, unfortunately, is exactly how it is and always will be with bureaucracies. They'll never be held accountable for their misdeeds, abuses and corruption, no matter how much it's brought out into the "open".

Because just how are they supposed to be punished?

By another bureaucracy, of course, and the chances of one bureaucrat punishing another are less than nil, they stick together worse than a bunch of hamsters in a bucket of molasses. They wouldn't want to create a precedent of bureaucrats being held accountable, because who might be next?

And it's certainly not only the FBI that is prone to bungling incompetency and outrageously gross abuses of power. Pick any three-letter agency you like:

The FBI, the CIA, the INS, the IRS, the CPS etc., etc., ad nauseam...

Corrupt to the core the whole filthy lot of 'em and I'll be prepping up for the first Hades Winter Olympics before a single one of them will be punished for their crimes against America.

But keep hoping, nothing wrong in that and I'm hoping right along with ya. It just ain't ever gonna happen...
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 12:58:00 PM

 

And Now... Something Completely Boring...

It is time for me to bore y'all silly with my latest "Weird Searches Leading to my Site"-feature:

"mean rottweiler pics". I'm sorry I can't help whoever it was that was looking for this but, seeing as I only rank #10 for this particular string (still, it's amazing that I rank at all), I'm sure you had your strange lust for Rotties looking mean satisfied elsewhere.

This one is really disturbing:
"philip shropshire". What you're looking for (and Heaven only knows why you'd be looking in the first place, can be found mainly here and, occasionally, when he's recovered sufficiently from the latest Fisking™, here.

It has made me think, however: Wouldn't little Philip be just thrilled if somebody around here were to, say, "Google-Bomb" the name "Philip Shropshire" so that eventually all Google-searches on that name, "Philip Shropshire", that is, would lead right here?

No, that would be mean. It's not like Philip Shropshire has ever done anything to me, after all (other than nearly killing me with laughter, but that's not Philip Shropshire's fault, is it?), so why don't I just be nice to Philip Shropshire and leave him alone (Philip Shropshire, that is)?.
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 10:35:00 AM

 

YAY!

Seems the Idiotarians at Kumbaya HQ have finally gotten around to providing me with one of their absolutely hilarious phony "permalinks"...

"You hate me! You really, really hate me!"

Thanks, it's a Badge of Honor.

What took you Idiots so damned long?
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 09:10:00 AM

 

More Idiotarians Of My Home Town:

It must be the weather or something. The Loons are crawling out from under their rocks, hammering away ineptly at their keyboards and submitting drivel like this to the Dallas Morning News (minor registration hassle, sorry):

Son strays sharply from father's vision

How can this President Bush's vision have strayed so far from the first President Bush's vision? We seem to have gone from a "New World Order" to "America Orders the World."

Where the first President Bush stressed international cooperation, recognizing that the U.S.A. is a part of the world, this President Bush seems to have no understanding of the limits – and responsibilities – of power. Recently his people have explicitly stated that the president does not need allies or the approval of Congress to start a war with Iraq. Apparently, neither our own Constitution nor the law between nations is of any consequence.

Unfortunately, actions do have consequences, and I fear that this President Bush simply does not understand the long-term effects of the actions he is contemplating. Launching a war on Iraq without some form of international consensus would brand us as the aggressor, and committing this country to a huge, long-term military undertaking without congressional approval would split the country the way the Vietnam War did.

It is significant that several members of the former President Bush's administration have publicly urged caution. Let us hope that our current President Bush can overcome his obsession with Saddam Hussein and act responsibly.

Rowell Rogers, Denton

Mr. Rogers (no, not that Mr Rogers),

Let's just skip the niceties and jump straight to the point:

You, sir, are a Steaming Turd on the Immaculate Marble Floor of Humanity™.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, you might want to address a few questions that popped up in my mind immediately upon reading the spew that you saw fit to pollute the "letters" section with:

Which chapter and what verse of the much-bandied-about "international law" states that an attacked sovereign state may not defend itself without asking the "global community" for permission first?

And much more to the point: Where can I buy a copy of the "Unabridged Version of International Law" that Idiotarians such as yourself keep quoting from?

Which section of the Constitution states that the President cannot act without the approval of Congress in case of an attack on the nation? Furthermore, did you completely miss the approval that Congress passed shortly after 9/11? Did you also miss Saddam Hussein's numerous breaches of the conditions of the ceasefire agreement of 1991, thus creating a de jure state of war between our countries?

Obviously you did... Well, for starters, it might help if you'd pull your head out of your rectum and actually read a newspaper, rather than skipping immediately to the comics section.

Launching a war on Iraq without some form of international consensus would brand us as the aggressor

Only to Idiotarians such as yourself, who obviously see no connections between the attack of 9/11 and al-Qaeda and absolutely no connection to Iraq. And even if there was no connection, I'd still be a whole lot more concerned about the long-term consequences of letting Saddam continue to pursue the goal of building WMDs than the consequences of having French Idiots calling us "aggressors".

and committing this country to a huge, long-term military undertaking without congressional approval would split the country the way the Vietnam War did.

I was wondering how long you could keep yourself from beating that poor old horse. Now try "Quagmire" as well. And don't forget "The Arab Street". Good boy, have a cookie.

Let us hope that our current President Bush can overcome his obsession with Saddam Hussein and act responsibly.

Let's hope that you, Mr. Rogers, can overcome your obsession with sticking your head where it doesn't belong and thereby restore oxygen flow to your asphyxiated gray matter.

Idiot.
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 09:03:00 AM

 

Revising History, "Independent (...of clue)"-Style:

Finally it is revealed:

The US started the War in the Pacific!

Submarine could prove US started Pearl Harbor
By Rupert Cornwell in Washington
30 August 2002

An accidental discovery on the seabed could provide proof that an American sailor, not a Japanese pilot, fired the first shot in the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941 that launched the Pacific War.

American marine researchers have discovered what almost certainly is the two-man Japanese midget submarine that was sunk by the destroyer USS Ward shortly before hundreds of Japanese aircraft devastated the US Pacific fleet as it lay at anchor, sinking or damaging 21 American warships, and killing almost 2,400 people.

Of course, if it hadn't been for this vicious, cruel and unprovoked attack on an innocent midget submarine in American territorial waters, the entire Japanese 1st Fleet, with its 6 carriers, 423 planes, 2 battleships, 28 subs, 2 cruisers and 11 destroyers, which had left the Kuriles on Nov. 26th, presumably for a leisurely cruise of the Pacific, would have turned around quietly and WWII in the Pacific would've never happened.

Are there no limits to the gross stupidity of "The Independent (...of cerebral function)"?

Why do I ask?

Next week in "The Independent (...of any thought)":

"Archduke Franz Ferdinand Alive and Well! WWI Fought By Mistake!"

(Link via Midwest Conservative Journal)

UPDATE: It would appear that somebody with clue at "The Independent (...of truth)" realized that this one was just too dumb, even for that miserable rag. The headline now reads "US 'fired first shot' at Pearl Harbor"...
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 07:44:00 AM

 

Another Windbag Gets Torn to Shreds...

I have no earthly idea who Hilary McPhee is and, after having read this thorough and eminent Fisking™ of her, I very much doubt that I'll ever want to make her acquaintance.

But no matter who she is, it's always a wonderful experience to watch another Idiotarian getting an extra orifice installed in his or her body, especially when it's done in an utterly brutal manner. I urge you, go read it now.
posted by Misha at 8/30/2002 07:27:00 AM

 

Ha'aretz, the Israeli Answer to the NYT...

It seems the Paleostinian Thugs and Murderous Swine aren't quite done with tormenting the Khouli family, even though they "reassured" the world that they'd "only" kill the mother so that her tortured son could provide for the family.

Their compassion makes my heart bleed... Filthy Dog-Humping Pigs...

Nevertheless, they are, as all true Islamofascists, as true to their word as any Clinton...

A brother and sister from the West Bank town of Tul Karm were kidnapped Thursday by the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, the military wing of the Fatah, on the suspicion of aiding Israel.

The kidnappers are threatening to execute the two, who are the niece and nephew of Ikhlas Khouli,

How nice... And what are you gonna do once you run out of Khouli family members, you despicable not-worth-wasting-a-bullet-on swine? Start murdering their friends as well? No need to answer, we already know... But Ha'aretz have to throw in their two cents of badly hidden partisanship as well:

...the 35-year-old mother of seven who was seized from her Tul Karm home and shot dead Saturday after admitting to collaborating with Israel.

...could you make that "after having been thoroughly tortured into "admitting" to collaborating with Israel."? Of course you couldn't. Your typesetters would have to use both hands to do that, and that would leave Yasser's one-eyed trouser snake sadly unattended to, wouldn't it?

Pigs...

No, that would be an insult to porcines all over the world...
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 09:59:00 PM

 

New Israeli Blog Up and Running

Yep, you heard right: A blog about the situation in the Middle East run by people who actually know what they're talking about.

I am, thanks to a friendly little hint by The InstaMan, proud to present to you:

The IsraPundit!

Flood 'em with hits and show your support!
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 09:45:00 PM

 

The Idiotarian Blight on the World...

Smart reader and invaluable contributor (not to mention the fact that she's my blog-momma without even having a blog) Donna provides me with an evaluation of the Eco-Nuts in the "comments" section to "And Another Reader Responds..." that is simply too accurate to be allowed to languish there:

How utterly racist these activists are. They don't believe those African and Asian farmers should be able to decide for themselves about "sustainable growth." No, they want to carry the "white man's burden" and dictate to others while they feast on lobster and cozy up to thugs like Mugabe. There was a great NOVA show about GM foods on last winter and this very smart, very angry Nigerian scientist really ripped into the eco-fascist crowd. She said that organic produce is fine if you're a first world yuppie, but that the soil in most of Africa is too poor to yield enough organic food to feed a continent. She accused the Greenpeace crew of (gasp!) knowing nothing about the Third World. Imagine how infuriating it must be for this woman to put up with idiotarian lectures from meddling lefties who have never gone hungry a day in their lives.

And that, as they say, is that.

The Loonies simply depend on the poor too much to let them go. They wouldn't have a livelihood without them, so they happily go on seeking to perpetuate their misery while pretending to "care" (gobbling caviar and sirloin, washing it down with champagne, while the truly poor go without water just outside the doors).

I foresee a future where the Loonie Lefties of the world find out that the downtrodden masses of the countries that the UN supports and upholds are quite willing to, and capable of, sending them a message that is much more forceful than a "Bullshit Trophy".

When that day arrives, I won't cheer... But I sure as hell won't feel sorry for the bastards either.

(And I will say again: The fact that Donna doesn't have a blog is a huge loss to the Blogosphere)
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 08:30:00 PM

 

And Just In Case...

...you've missed out on John Hawkins' interview with Daniel Pipes about the Middle East, I suggest that you immediately change your sinful ways and go read it, right now.

You can thank me later...
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 07:45:00 PM

 

And Another Reader Responds...

I am constantly reminded of the fact that, if for nothing else, the feedback from readers is worth all the time I put into this (which isn't all that much, actually, I wish I had more time to spend blogging).

Shortly after I'd been whining and moaning about my writer's block, Alert Reader Mike (whose last name, as per my privacy policy, shall remain unknown for the nonce) sent me this link.

I'll just post an excerpt (the article isn't really that long) and then I urge you to go read it all. You'll be sorry if you don't:

Johannesburg - African and Asian farmers, and hawkers from across South Africa handed over a "Bullshit Trophy" (yes, that is the trophy's real name) to Greenpeace, the Third World Network and BioWatch for their contribution to the "preservation of poverty" in developing countries.

The trophy comprises of a piece of wood on which two heaps of dried cow-dung - "unfortunately not elephant dung" - are mounted.

It's very comforting to know that there are still sensible people out there and I dearly hope that the "summitteers" gagged on their champagne and caviar at the "Summit For Sustainable Levels of Complete Hypocrisy"...

Thanks again, Mike, it's folks like you that make this whole blogging thing worthwhile!
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 06:38:00 PM

 

And Behold, There Was Silence in France...

I'll immediately celebrate my addition of Trojan Horseshoes by shamelessly ripping off a link from him.

The consolation is that, thanks to my Insanely Brilliant Bloglinking Scheme™, Trojan now advances one spot on the list. This way, eventually, you'll all know that being on top of my permalist means that you're "Most Likely to be Ripped by the Rott"... Some honor, huh? I just knew y'all would be completely ecstatic... Or not...

Anyways, to cut my babblings short, here's the article that Trojan pointed me towards:

France Mutes Its Criticism of U.S. Stance Toward Iraq
By ELAINE SCIOLINO

PARIS, Aug. 28 — The new center-right French government has decided to stop criticizing American war planning against Saddam Hussein and instead maximize its leverage with the United States by stressing areas of agreement, according to senior French officials.

I agree... "stressing areas of agreement" would make the silence almost deafening, not to mention most welcome...

Under the previous center-left government, French-American relations were often poisonous, characterized by repeated spats over issues ranging from perceived American unilateralism to policy in the Middle East.

...not to mention pretty much everything else under the Sun, such as outrage at the "perverse" and "simplistic" American culture that the French youth are gagging themselves on.

Hint to froggies: Your protests against McDonald's don't carry quite as much weight when they're muttered in the middle of ordering a Super-Sized Big Mac Meal™. I'm really only trying to help here.

The decision reflects an important tactical shift.

In the ancient lingo of "Common Sense", it's called "being mugged by reality"...

Its proponents, including the new foreign minister, Dominique de Villepin, argue that a more conciliatory policy will avoid needless friction between the two longtime allies and allow the government of President Jacques Chirac to keep open its options in case the United States decides to wage war unilaterally against Iraq.

The move may also help protect France's national interests in Iraq, including its oil trade, should the United States wage war and win, the officials said.

Oh, that little revelation is gonna help your new "strategy" a lot, my addled little baguette-munching friends!

To translate from the French: "Even though we keep claiming that the US are stupid, unilateralist and "simplistic" to even consider going into Iraq and that they'll get their keisters kicked by the Almighty Saddam if they do, they just might win, in which case it'd be in our best interest to stay on their good side, lest our oil deliveries should be compromised".

It's in the best French tradition, after all... Anybody say "Vichy"? I knew you would...

Well if the frogs are so far beyond therapeutical reach in their pathological stupidity that they think we're not going to smell a brie-eating rat, then I guess they've got a second think coming. The saddest thing is that I really do believe that the Fatuous French pols really do believe that they're being "ever so clever", we Americans are all unsophisticated, lobotomized cowboys after all...

Or maybe, just maybe, the Frogs are getting a little bit worried about the future of their embassy in Baghdad. I mean, just saying, is all.

The tonal shift does not mean that France has suddenly embraced the American position that a military campaign to oust President Saddam Hussein of Iraq from power is justifiable and perhaps necessary.

Rather, Mr. Chirac and Mr. de Villepin have come to the conclusion that it is wiser to present France as an active, strategic partner of the United States and to keep quiet about specific policy differences.

"More and more at the highest levels people are saying, `We don't like a military operation but there's likely to be one so what do we do,' " a senior French official said. "So the goal is to keep all our options open and not criticize, not to provoke a backlash. We feel that Washington is expecting us to react negatively and we have decided not to. It's a tactical choice."

You might have considered not divulging your "ingenious" little plan to a friggin' New York Times correspondent, you Ignorant Intestine of an Iguana... Are you really that stupid, or are you just trying to make us feel sorry for you?

Another senior official put it more bluntly, "We're driving the Pentagon crazy by keeping silent."

Yep... I know for a fact that Rummy and Ari are afraid to utter as much as a word without being told what the French might possibly think about it... I think the Elephant's Diaphragms that you're so proudly wearing on your pointy little heads are obstructing the blood flow to your brains. That's the only way I can explain that Idiotic Infatuation with yourselves, anyway.

The French shift leaves France and Germany in uncharacteristic positions. Germany, normally the most pliant of allies, has said it will not participate in an American "adventure" in Iraq. This tone has played well for Chancellor Gerhard Schröder as he campaigns for re-election next month.

So well, as a matter of fact, that the most recent poll numbers show that he's fallen another 3 percent points behind the Christian Democrats, but let's not let facts get in the way. We are, after all, reading a piece from the NYT "All the News We Can Make to Fit, We Print".

Meanwhile France, normally the most combative of allies, has been restrained.

French officials seem to be relieved, even amused, that it is now the Germans who have taken the lead in taking on the Bush administration for its Iraq policy

On Tuesday, Mr. Schröder described Washington's course as a "mistake" that undermines United Nations efforts to resume weapons inspections in Iraq. He has also said a war could wreck the international antiterror coalition, inflame the Middle East and hurt the world economy.

...not to mention increase Global Warming, cause starvation in Zambia, endanger the population of Cross-Eyed Alsatian Snails and make the Sun rise two minutes later on Mondays.

The French attitude towards the United States was reflected in a speech by Mr. Villepin that opened a conference of French ambassadors at the Foreign Ministry on Tuesday.

Unlike his predecessor, Hubert Védrine, who seemed to relish any opportunity to criticize the United States, Mr. de Villepin, who lived and worked for years in Washington, stressed the positive. He spoke glowingly of American "dynamism, energy and exceptional enthusiasm," and the need for the United States and Europe to unite in a "new Euro-Atlantic partnership."

Lick, lick, spittle slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppp... Does the expression "too little, too late" mean anything to you, you Gallic Gimp?

As for Iraq, he branded it a regime that "defies international rules set by the Security Council, holds it people hostage and threatens security, particularly that of its neighbors. Such behavior is not acceptable. We Europeans, know too well the price of weakness in the face of dictatorship if we close our eyes and play a passive game."

..."we also know the benefits if we just roll over and take it from behind until somebody comes save our sorry asses, but let's not mention the War".

The emerging French strategy is to take diplomatic cover by putting any talk of war in the context of the rule of international law. Indeed, in his speech, Mr. de Villepin said that the international community must demand the unconditional return of United Nations inspectors to the country, but did not say what should be the response if Iraq refused.

I know the EUnuch response: "We'll just scowl really fiercely and then let the US clean up the mess. Afterwards, we'll applaud ourselves for being such staunch allies. Unless the Americans lose, of course, in which case we'll just say that we were "forced" to scowl and that we didn't really mean it and could you please tell me how deep you want me to take it, Mr. Hussein?"

As for waging war, he reiterated the French position that "no military action can be conducted without a decision of the Security Council."

This is French for "we won't fight for our own interests, even if we have to veto it. And if we do, we'll blame the Security Council".

The passage on Iraq was carefully negotiated for hours inside the Foreign Ministry and with the Élysée Palace. It will be reiterated by Mr. Chirac when he delivers a speech to the ambassadors at the Élysée Palace on Thursday, according to Catherine Colonna, Mr. Chirac's spokesman.

"For the moment, the most useful position is to remind people of the obligations of Iraq and the role of the Security Council," Ms. Colonna said.

Last evening, in a meeting with ambassadors assigned to the Middle East, Mr. Villepin was peppered with questions that underscore the delicacy of France's position. "It was a real brainstorming and shows how things are too hypothetical now to take a stand," one participant said. "People were asking, `What do we do if the Americans come up with a U.N. resolution and we don't accept it? Do we take part in the drafting? Do we vote for it? If we vote for it, do we send troops?' "

According to his aides, Mr. Villepin simply listened.

...which is pretty much all the Parisian Pimps of the continent can do...

Would you kindly just go f*ck yourselves?
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 05:36:00 PM

 

Damn, I'm Out of Juice...

My sincere apologies to readers coming by for fresh content, but I'm currently stuck in a spell of complete and utter lack of inspiration. No doubt somebody, somewhere, will soon come up with something so blindingly stupid that I'll be back on track, but until then, please bear with me...

UPDATE: Well, I suppose I could start by adding the blogs that I have been neglecting for far too long to my blogroll. With this in mind, a warm welcome to "Trojan Horseshoes", whose wit is only matched by his compassion, as shown by the fact that he hasn't yet sent me any hatemail for not linking him.
posted by Misha at 8/29/2002 05:29:00 PM

 

Would Somebody With a Heart Please Plug This Bastard?

From "Sky News":

A heartless New York landlord is suing relatives of a September 11 victim, claiming she is owed £18,000 in unpaid rent.

Denise Lyman said tenant Danielle Kousoulis, killed when hijacked planes crashed into the World Trade Centre, should have given three months notice before leaving her flat.

Denise Lyman, you cold-hearted, stinking, greedy, not-worth-pissing-on bitch: You're on my list now. Should you ever have the misfortune of appearing at an ER that I just so happen to be in charge of, I'll show you in no uncertain way just how many ways you can make somebody miserable without being sued.

And you can take that to the bank too, you miserable three-legged whore!

[Expletive deleted]!!!!

(Link thanks to the Pejman.)
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 10:36:00 PM

 

So Many Idiots, So Little Time...

Christopher Johnson of the Midwest Conservative Journal does me the immense favor of turning the spotlight on an Idiotarian that I might otherwise have missed.

Although I agree completely with Christopher's summary of her, "Twit", I simply cannot let it go at that, so I decided, much against my better judgment, to wade through the bucket of verbal diarrhea that "Ray Crowley" (no points for originality there, considering that that particular last name was taken 6 years ago. Of course, it might actually be her last name, which would, added to the indignity of being christened "Ray", absent a "Y" chromosome, go a long way towards explaining her bitter outlook), decides to foist upon the unwary reader of "Spiked".

Go ahead, my sweet little moron, take it away:

Human rights organisations, including London-based Amnesty International, have expressed outrage at the case of the Nigerian mother Amina Lawal, who has been sentenced to death by stoning for adultery.

Oddly enough, they're still quiet as a graveyard on the subject of a particularly nasty murder committed a while ago in Paleostine, but one mustn't expect too much of these "human rights" organizations...

But after the initial shock reaction at such a horrible punishment for an act I'm not used to considering criminal, I have started wondering which humans and what rights these organisations mean.

When a story like this hits the papers, complete with photographs of the convicted woman breastfeeding her illegitimate offspring,

Hey! Hold it right there! That sounds an awful lot like being judgmental to me, and we can't have that, now can we? Jeebus Christ! Keep that up and you're gonna be sounding like Jerry-effing-Falwell!

the desire to 'parent the savages' swells in 'more moral and well-behaved nations'.

Nope. My desire upon reading that latest exhibit of "Peaceful Islam" was to go there ASAP and shove a load of C4 so far up the Theocratic Thugs' asses that I could place the detonator after simply asking them to say "aaaahhh". That may be "parenting" where you come from (and be careful you don't poke an eye out with those sneer quotes), but it sure ain't hereabouts.

It is hard not to sit back and wave your all-knowing human rights hands in the air.

You should know, which makes it all the more incomprehensible to me why you Loonies show such selectivity in when you choose to wave it around...

But if I had been brought up in an Islamic nation, I'd probably feel differently about this case.

If you'd been brought up in an Islamic nation, you wouldn't be allowed to think or feel at all, being a woman. As a matter of fact, the enlightened mullahs would have mutilated your genitals to make sure that you never felt anything, among other charming features of being a woman under the rule of "Peaceful Islam".

Indeed, Lawal herself was quietly accepting of the situation. 'God is in control. I believe he will vindicate me', she said (1).

The poor woman has resigned herself to her fate, knowing full well that you Idiots will be too busy exploring "root causes" and "moral equivalency" to ever lift a finger on her behalf.

In the Bible, there is a passage that reads: 'Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print and marks upon you.' (2) So debates rage on Christian websites among teenagers in Western nations trying to decide whether tattoos and body piercings are sinful.

...yet we have somehow, miraculously, managed to abstain from dipping bikers in vats of boiling oil because of their "transgressions". Fancy that.

In Jewish law, any act of ha-sh'cha'tat zerah - destruction of the seed, or ejaculation outside of the vagina - is forbidden. The Talmud also states that 'in the case of a man, the hand that reaches below the navel should be chopped off' (3).

...yet I can't seem to find a single incidence of anybody being stoned for spanking the monkey in Israel, nor have I heard of any Jewish boys having their hands chopped off as a consequence. If you want severed limbs, you only need to go to your nearest Islamic Hellhole for satisfaction.

So where's your "moral equivalency", Numbskull? Ah, here it is:

Here in the UK and the USA, we also read about pro-life campaigners who wage violent campaigns against doctors who perform abortions, and animal rights activists who plant bombs for their cause.

Yet human rights organisations and the media always seem more focused on mad belief systems 'over there'.

It could be, just in case you really are wondering, because of the fact that Blistering Buttheads such as the ones you mention tend to end up pumped full of well-deserved bullets or awaiting execution in the West, whereas they're governmentally sanctioned and blessed under "Peaceful Islam".

There is an immense imbalance of power between Western and African nations. In the Western world, we still believe ourselves to have a superior paternal relationship to undeveloped countries. Human rights is just a nice way of putting it.

It is ironic that at a time when people are keen to celebrate cultural difference, when young people wear ethnic clothing and Henna tattoos and we're encouraged to bring exotic cuisine to staff meetings, that we're still so keen to look down our noses at strange practices from the 'dark continent'.

It may be because, to most civilized people, there's a distinct difference between bringing a Shish-Kebab to the corporate luncheon and pelting stones at a woman who's slept around.

It's lovely to travel the world buying sari material and wooden models of African elephants to bring home for your friends - until somebody mentions female circumcision. After that, celebrating cultural practices quickly becomes less of a priority.

Odd, that. Isn't it?

Are you advocating that we should cut them off completely, telling them that they can go f*ck themselves until they've learned how to behave in a civilized manner? If so, I'm in total agreement with you.

There is nothing to be achieved by intervening in or condemning the laws and practices of other countries. It will simply reinforce the already skewed power balance between the developed and developing worlds. Saying 'We know better, we'll tell you how to do things right' isn't that different from saying: 'We are better.'

And, until you prove me wrong, I shall maintain the claim that we are better than Fundamentalist F*ckheads who find it totally acceptable to mutilate and murder women at will.

There is conflict in Nigeria itself over the introduction of the strict Islamic sharia law that imposes the death penalty for adultery. There is debate over what is right and wrong. People aren't just running around beating drums and bumping off women left, right and centre. So why do we here in Europe and the USA feel the need to get involved?

Because some of us actually believe that the process could do with a little speeding up, maybe?

There is an expression about casting the first stone that human rights activists would do well to remember. After all, isn't there a case to be made for the rights of the Nigerian people to be treated as an equal nation, capable of enforcing, or acting to change, the law in Nigeria as they - and not all-knowing foreign activists - see fit?

The ruling to stone Amina Lawal to death is not pleasant. But the judgement of Nigeria by other nations is just as unpleasant.

Yep. Expressing disgust at stoning a woman to death because of alleged transgressions against her marital vows is no better than actually going ahead and stoning her.

Ms. Crowley: I wish you'd find the nearest bridge and throw yourself off it. Barring that, I'd very much like for you to go to Nigeria and live the rest of your life as a Moslem woman.

I can't quite decide which would be the worse choice.

Bitch.
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 07:17:00 PM

 

And As If That Wasn't Enough...

Laurence of the Amish (somehow that doesn't sound near as impressive as the original, good thing our Laurence is) decides to pile it on s'more, this time with an ode to Donahue that I just can't resist the temptation to rip off:

DONAHUE
(Sung to "Xanadu"... musical accompaniment)

A face that nobody wants to see
Is on MSNBC
They call it Donahue

And now, he's back with his whole charade
With the bleeding-heart parade
Shut up, Phil Donahue!

A million watch O'Reilly and there you are, a fallen star
An everlasting whine and annoying me, on my TV

Chorus:
Donahue, Donahue-ooo-ooo, (now we are bored) on Donahue
Donahue, Donahue-ooo-ooo, (now we are bored) on Donahue

Donahue, your worn-out pap will fail for you, Donahue

The Left, the liars of long ago,
You needed the world to know
They are on Donahue

You scream through all of your interviews
Your ratings now sing the blues, what's left of Donahue?

A million watch O'Reilly and there you are, a fallen star
An everlasting whine and annoying me, on my TV

Donahue, Donahue-ooo-ooo, (now we are bored) on Donahue
Donahue, Donahue-ooo-ooo, (now we are bored) on Donahue

Now that you're back, you leftist hack, on Donahue
Now that you're back, you leftist hack on Donahue, Donahue

As if it wasn't enough that, on this the 28th day of August, 2002, the quality of James Lileks' "Screed" has convinced me that I can't slap Idiotarians worth a damn, Laurence, with this, proceeds to convince me that it'll be a looong time before I can call myself "funny"...

Well, I suppose I could always start posting pr0n...

And not only that... I can't get that effin' song out of my head now, thanks a lot, man!

You guys ROCK... [grumble, grumble piss and moan]...
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 06:00:00 PM

 

There's Nothing Like It...

...like a well-delivered, gut-smashing "Screed" from James Lileks, that is, and it just so happens that the master himself has put up a fresh one for our Wanker-Whacking enjoyment. This time it's yet another helpless Idiotarian from the Mentally Challenged Dept. of (al-)Guardian, also known as their columnist brigade... This one, a certain Mr. Monbiot, delivers an impressively dull-witted rant about the glories of being dirt poor and having to drink mud, eat dung and live in a hole in the ground as opposed to the "empty" lifestyle of the West.

Lileks, of course, chops him up like a pound of beef until there's nothing left behind except for extremely small pieces of Maliciously Minced Mudhead™...

Speak for yourself, twitchy. And while you’re flipping through the Morrissey CDs looking for le mope juste, stop to consider that your assertion is manifestly baseless. Just because 25-year olds are “10 times more likely to be affected by depression’ - whatever that means - doesn’t necessarily mean this arises from “wealth.” It could be any number of things, from a declining culture, bad food, rotten weather, poor schooling, social stratification, exposure to relentlessly downbeat newspaper columnists, bad fashion, boy bands, whatever. It could be argued that wealth allows people the luxury of redefining the vagaries of adolescence and young adulthood as actual clinical depression; when you’re hungry, or working in the coal mine, or pulling 18-hour shifts in a dimly-lit factory whose sole ventilation consists of a fist-hole punched through a window ten yards away, there’s not a lot of time to be depressed.

Now go read the rest, it's a thing of beauty...

Only downside is that it leaves me with the realization that I have a loooooooooong way to go yet... But I'm sure it'll be a fun ride.
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 05:55:00 PM

 

Readers Chime In...

In response to my rant about the insane eco-nuts choosing to let starving Africans die rather than let them munch on our "vile" GM-foods:

The very notable and eminently readable Joanne Jacobs disagrees with me on the subject of fitting punishment for the Greenofascists, and I have to admit that she has a point, and a very good one too:

I don't think we should line up the organic killers against the wall and shoot them. We should lock them in a room with a diet of GM food and milk from cows who've consumed bovine growth hormone. Let them decide whether they prefer life or death.

Absolutely, Joanne. Not only would the punishment fit the crime perfectly, it would also force the bastards to make the choice for themselves rather than making it for everybody else. Of course, having to deal personally with the consequences of doing as they idiotically preach would be a completely novel experience for them as well. I move to pass...

Lynn has a few choice words for the genocidal maniacs as well:

This really upsets me. What are those people using for brains? I agree that they are committing crimes against humanity and they will get away with it in the name of "Freedom of Speech." Any lawyer will tell you that yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre where there is no fire is NOT covered under the freedom of speech amendment. So why can't we throw these idiot greenies in jail? They're killing people.

As you say, Lynn, the bastards will most likely get away with it while continuing to blame the US for the deaths. No-one would like it more than I to follow your suggestion and throw the sick slimebags in the slammer, but they'll probably get a pass this time too.

However, if we all continue to pull their atrocious and evil deeds out in the open and shine the bright light of publicity on them, there might come a day when the EcoNazis are as "popular" as their brown-shirted ancestors.

I can't wait either...
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 11:02:00 AM

 

New Addition

Allow me to give a hearty welcome to "Spoons Experience" who will be joining the ranks of excellent blogs out there in my link bar as of today.

And yet another big "Congrats" to Chris and Laura!

Also, don't cheat yourselves by NOT reading Gene Expression on a regular basis!
posted by Misha at 8/28/2002 07:28:00 AM

 

Nope, Not Here...

To whomever it was that came by looking for "rottweiler discrimination", I can assure you that you'll find no such thing around here.

I love Rotts and the only reason that they've gotten a bad rep among some people is because they haven't ever "owned" one (you don't "own" a Rott, you share your home with him or her) and are getting their opinion from the press...

It is with Rotts as it is with all other dog breeds: It's not the dog that's the problem, it's the Idiot on the Other End of the Leash.
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 08:43:00 PM

 

Another Grand Accomplishment of the Greenie-Weenies

In Zambia, millions of people are starving while the Idiotarian Assholes of the anti-Biotech Movement are busy making sure that it stays that way:

The WFP on Friday said that Zambia was now the only famine-hit southern African country to reject genetically-modified food aid after the concerns raised by Zimbabwe and Mozambique were resolved.

James Morris, the WFP executive director, said he was worried about the more than two million people at risk of starvation in Zambia, one of six badly-affected countries in the region.

"There are no biotech-GM issues in Malawi, Swaziland or Lesotho. We've essentially resolved the biotech-GM issues in Zimbabwe and in Mozambique," Morris told a news conference.

"We still have issues that we are discussing in Zambia," he added.

At this point, it seems that the corrupt regime of Zambia is saying "Better Dead Than Fed", right? But surely nobody can be that callous?

Mozambique, Zambia and Zimbabwe had raised concerns about the longer-term effects of the GM maize, primarily from the US, on human health and the environment. The US currently provides 75 percent of food used by the WFP in Zambia.

"There is no way that the WFP can provide the resources to feed these starving people without using food that has some biotech content," Morris said.

"Essentially, we've never had anyone over the past 40 years turn us down. There have been no examples of health problems related to human consumption of this food."

Earlier this month Levy Mwanawasa, the Zambian president and current Southern African Development Community chairperson, warned that he would rather let his people die than feed them toxic food.

...and you'd be wrong, dead wrong. There are actually Idiotarians around who would rather leave their people to certain death from starvation than to "risk" feeding them food that has not been proven to do anything to anybody, other than causing the Idiotarian Greenies to throw a full-blown tizzy fit...

There is not one single, solitary example of a sniffle or headache as a result of biotech food," said Dr Val Giddings, the vice-president for food and agriculture of the US Biotechnology Industry Organisation.

Anti-GM campaigners say the US is using Africa as its "dumping ground" as it tries to infiltrate the European market, which has turned down all overtures by the US.

"Africa is really becoming a dumping ground and people are not being left with a choice," said Rachel Wynberg, a Biowatch trustee. But Giddings believes biotech foods are the only solution to global hunger.

Despite the fact that the maize in question has been milled to prevent cross-breeding, despite the fact that nobody, anywhere, have ever exhibited any adverse signs from eating Biogenetically altered food, despite the fact that the whole anti-Biotech Movement is based on Junk Science, despite the fact that nobody, anywhere, have ever demonstrated how altered plant DNA could miraculously bypass the human digestive system, these sandalled, tofu-eating, holier-than-thou Idiotarian BumFucked Hemorrhoids of Humanity™ are still quite prepared to, and quite successful in, making millions starve as a result of their numbskulled propaganda.

I hope they're proud of themselves.

I also hope that they won't embarass themselves too much on that happy, joyous day when we line them up against the wall for crimes against humanity...

(Link via War Now)
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 08:22:00 PM

 

Direkt From Ze Führerbunker in Baghdad:

Filtered by the Roto-Reuters, of course, (one man's news agency etc, etc,...)

Iraq Defiant, Arabs Alarmed by New U.S. War Talk

LONDON (Reuters) - Renewed U.S. talk of war to topple Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein drew defiance from Baghdad Tuesday and a warning from Egypt's President Hosni Mubarak that any such attack could plunge the Middle East into chaos.

...which, considering the sorry state that that Perpetual Land Fill of Humanity is in, is the most optimistic statement to come out of Hosni's mouth in a long time.

U.S. warplanes attacked a radar site in northern Iraq and an air defense command facility in the south after what the U.S. military called hostile acts against U.S. and British jets patrolling two no-fly zones in Iraqi airspace.

Yep... We made the whole thing up, Reuters, as per usual... In reality, we were trying to bomb another baby milk factory, but the invincible Iraqi air defense kept driving our planes off...

The allied planes struck as Arab leaders digested Monday's call from Vice-President Dick Cheney

Quick! Pass the Pepto-Bismol™!

for preemptive action against Iraq, saying Baghdad's weapons of mass destruction posed a mortal danger to the United States.

"We could not care less about the threats that are out there. Iraq has a long history with these threats and such despotism," Iraqi Vice-President Taha Yassin Ramadan told reporters in Syria after meeting President Bashar al-Assad.

Indeed you have, Mr. Ramadama-ding-dong, but what does the history of Iraq and Saddam Hussein's personality have to do with it? Oh, and you can come back from Syria now. The planes are gone... For the moment...

In Baghdad, President Saddam Hussein told Qatar's foreign minister that a U.S. assault on Iraq would be an attack on "all the Arab nation," the official Iraqi News Agency reported.

..or that's what Sammy's hoping for, at least, because he knows full well that he'll be beaten to an Islamofascist Pulp the moment we get to work on his worthless self.

Saddam said Iraq had implemented all its obligations under U.N. Security Council resolutions and accused the world body of failing to reciprocate by lifting crippling sanctions imposed 12 years ago for Baghdad's 1990 invasion of Kuwait.

"If there is a genuine desire to find a solution, it has to be based on international legitimacy, international law and the U.N. charter ... and has to include implementing commitments by all parties," the Iraqi leader added.

Nope, Saddim... It has to be based on the conditions listed on that little piece of paper that you signed back in 1991 to avoid having your cowardly ass hung from the tallest lamppost in Baghdad.

But Cheney's remarks caused fresh alarm among Washington's Arab allies, which strongly supported the U.S.-led coalition that drove Iraqi troops from Kuwait in the 1991 Gulf War

How quickly they forget, the Filthy Little Ingrates...

"Striking Iraq is something that could have repercussions and post-strike developments. We fear chaos happening in the region," Egypt's Mubarak told a group of students, adding there was "no need" to attack the sanctions-hit Arab country.

No reason whatsoever, nope, absolutely not...

Qatar's Foreign Minister Sheikh Hamad bin Jassim bin Jabr al-Thani said he was visiting Baghdad to avert a "catastrophe," in clear reference to U.S. threats to oust Saddam by force.

Qatar, which hosts a big U.S. airbase that is now being upgraded, has joined other Arab countries in opposing any U.S. attack on Iraq. "We are of course against any military action," al-Thani told reporters Monday.

Anti-American feeling is high in the region because of U.S. support for Israel as it tries to crush the Palestinian uprising against Israel's occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

Any ridiculous notions that Reuters is anything even resembling a news agency should be dispelled by now. "Palestinian uprising" and "Israel's occupation", all in one sentence... Whoooeeee... Even Izvestiya and Pravda were more subtle than that.

"(Cheney's) position can only express the depth of rancor and hatred for the Arab and Muslim nations," said Ramadan, urging Arabs to close ranks in response. "Public opinion increasingly rejects the dominance of American despotism."

...and it most likely will continue to increase for a while, until Saddam, his retarded son Uday and his entire Revolutionary Guard are nothing more than grease spots on the walls, at which time "public opinion" can be found hiding under the carts in the nearest Kasbah.

FENCE-MENDING WITH SAUDIS

Amid signs of strain in Washington's relations with Saudi Arabia, a longtime close ally, President Bush telephone Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah Tuesday to praise the "eternal friendship" between their two countries.

Bush was due to receive Saudi Arabia's ambassador, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, at his Texas ranch later Tuesday for talks expected to focus on the U.S.-led "war on terrorism" and Iraq.

Lick, lick, lick, slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppp!... And I'm not referring to Bandar...

Saudi Arabia, whose domestic and foreign policies have come under sometimes hostile scrutiny in the United States since the September 11 attacks

...which is quite surprising, considering that 15 out of 19 hijackers were Saudis, that the Saudi regime pumped a couple hundred million into al-Qaeda and that Saudi Arabia, to this day, remains a tepid swamp of government-sanctioned Wahhabism... Those damn Merkins! So damn touchy...

And what's with the "hostile scrutiny"? "Visa Express"? The fact that Saudi Arabia is pretty much alone among Middle Eastern nations not required to undergo extra close scrutiny when trying to enter the US, or the fact that Dubya is now busy playing a meaty flute concerto on Prince Bandar, one of the Odious Oil Princes who subsidized the murder of 3,000 of the citizens he's sworn to protect?

Let's hope and pray that they never get upgraded to "Most Favored Nation" status, I'm not sure that the President and all the striped pants of Foggy Bottom put together could possibly keep up with that without busting their sphincters...

The state-owned Saudi Press Agency published details of the telephone call from Bush to Prince Abdullah, the de facto Saudi ruler, in which the U.S. president played down a recent slew of anti-Saudi comments in the United States.

"Such talk does not reflect the strength and solidity of the relationship," it quoted Bush as saying. "It only reflects the opinion of the person who said it and it cannot affect the eternal friendship between the two countries."

I wasn't aware that it was possible to go down on somebody over the phone. I stand corrected.
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 07:53:00 PM

 

Sweet Jeebus, I Almost Forgot!

A huge Happy Birthday to the One and Only:

Glenn Reynolds,

...and a very big thank you for all the links!
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 07:24:00 PM

 

OK, So I DID Promise Not to Giggle Like an Idiot...

This from the Spokesman-Review:

Grizzly mauls animal rights activist

West Yellowstone, Mont. _ A 38-year-old man was in fair condition Monday after a grizzly bear attacked a group of Bunny Boinkers animal rights activists hiking eight miles northwest of here.

The victim, who was FUBAR'ed not identified, and three other members of Buffalo Field Campaign surprised a grizzly sow and two cubs Sunday afternoon.

Clarke Ball, who was behind the other hikers, said he found his companion bleeding from his face and legs.

"He got his face mangled," said Ball. "He had two puncture wounds on his knee and two on his right-hand side below the kidney."

...another witness who was present at the attack stated further: "I told him that it wasn't a Bunny, but he wouldn't listen! He just charged it shouting 'Mmmm... Me hug big bunny!'"

The hikers were part of a group of Spoiled Sierra Club Brats Mensa Rejects activists who annually monitor and occasionally disrupt Montana's efforts to keep bison from entering the state from nearby Yellowstone National Park.

They weren't bison either...

(Link thanks to Midwest Conservative Journal)
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 05:55:00 PM

 

Like a Cancer...

This is the way that Israeli Lieutenant-General Moshe Ya'alon describes the Paleostinian menace.

Predictably, the "learned" world opinion along with the Independent (...of rationality) is that they're shocked, shocked, I tell you!

The hardy few trying to rekindle peace amid the cinders of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict were in despair yesterday after the new head of the Israeli army, Lieutenant-General Moshe Ya'alon, said the Palestinian "threat" had "cancer-like attributes".

Nice use of sneer-quotes around "threat", Independent. I guess they're not much of a threat to your children, but that doesn't mean that they're no threat at all...

Oh, I forget, to EUnuchs, that is actually a completely logical conclusion... My bad...

there was gloom among international observers, who saw it as another retrograde step, and further evidence of the enormous uphill slope that faces those trying to find some form of diplomatic formula that will eventually lead to peace.

"We are moving further and further from a two-state solution," said one. "The debate is unbelievable. Remarks like these are now the absolute mainstream in Israel."

...strange, that. You would think that after having their infants and teens blown up by their hundreds, the Israeli would be all smiles and laughter by now, ready to hug and kiss Yasser's stubbled and unwashed cheeks, no? Those damn Jews and their "shitty little country". You thought we'd forgotten? You were wrong... Again...

Other foreign observers saw it is likely to provoke further violence at a time when, say some analysts, the Palestinian militias are showing signs of conflict fatigue, and the realisation that they have lost sympathy within the international community because of the relentless use of suicide bombers.

Let me see if I fully grok the "logic" applied here... The Paleostinians are showing combat-fatigue and are allegedly becoming aware that their splodeydopes are doing nothing to endear them with world opinion (not that I've seen any forceful condemnations from the world in general and the Grand EUrinal in particular) so, as a logical consequence, they're ready to blow up even more splodeydopes... Wait... Let me try again... They're about to be beaten and they know it, so any continued aggression against them will, logically, convince them to blow more of themselves up so that they can get an even bigger beating...

Nope, I just can't wrap my little head around EUro "logic".

Victory was vital for Israel's deterrence powers, General Ya'alon said, "so the Palestinian side will burn into its consciousness that there is no chance of gaining achievements by means of terror".

Sounds like good sense to me... The only logical consequence of rewarding terror is to invite more of the same... Everybody knows that...

Palestinian officials were outraged, saying the general's statements undermined the "Gaza and Bethlehem First" understanding, a recent extremely fragile bilateral agreement to restore calm with a staged Israeli withdrawal from Palestinian areas in return for a crackdown on militants.

"Outraged", eh? Well whooptee-effing-doo... Here it is, one more time slowly, so that even you Illiterate Idiotarian Islamofascists should be able to understand it: The "Gaza and Bethlehem First" deal was "undermined" the second you morons proved beyond any reasonable doubt (and I didn't have much of that to begin with) that you were either unable or unwilling (or both) to hold up your end of the deal.

It is now open season, Nitwits, and I suggest you scamper off to your little hidey-holes in one heck of a hurry, because I have a distinct feeling that there's gonna be Hell to pay shortly, capice?

"These comments reflect the true intention of the Israeli government, which is the destruction of the Palestinian Authority and the peace process, and the restoration of occupation," Saeb Erekat, a senior Palestinian official and former peace negotiator, said. "I hope it will serve as an eye-opener for Mr Blair and Mr Bush, so they can see the kind of people we are dealing with."

The recent breakdown due to your people's inability to stop terror has indeed opened quite a few eyes. And I'm willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that you'd wish they'd fall back asleep right quick like.
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 05:13:00 PM

 

Conference on Sustainable Levels of Idiocy Watch...

Seems they're up to their old tricks down Johannesburg way, much to absolutely nobody's surprise:

Israeli hopes to keep a low profile at the UN World Summit for Sustainable Development were already dashed on the first day of the conference Monday, when Palestinians accused Israel of torturing children, stealing land, and poisoning Palestinian water.

...and, presumably, making pastry out of the blood of Paleostinian infants, causing droughts, making Sundays shorter and beating lil' old ladies over the head with sticks...

South African Foreign Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma had expressed hope that the summit would be a positive, apolitical event, but the Simon Wiesenthal Center accused the South African government Monday of taking a political stand by endorsing the Palestinian delegation's calls for Israel to release terrorist Marwan Barghouti.

Barghouti's lawyer, Khader Shikrat, met on Monday with South African Deputy Foreign Minister Aziz Pahad, who agreed to support the "Free Barghouti campaign,"

...and thus another name was added to the Axis. Goodbye, South Africa...

Mark Sofer, a senior Foreign Ministry official, told reporters after the press conference that Barghouti chairs the Aksa Martyrs Brigades, which has taken credit for the murders of Israeli men, women, and children.

He said any attempt to compare Barghouti to Mandela was farcical.

...which means that it's entirely appropriate to make such a comparison at the farce in Johannesburg. Tomorrow they'll compare him to Gandhi.

When Shikrat joined her and accused Israel of torturing 230 Palestinian children in Shin Bet basements, some 50 Israelis from the World Union of Jewish Students stood up in protest, revealing their T-shirts, which read, "Stop hijacking the summit" on the front and "Stop Durbanizing the WSSD" on the back, alluding to the anti-Israel atmosphere that pervaded the UN World Summit on Racism held a year ago in Durban, South Africa.

After they refused to sit down, dozens of police came in and removed the Israeli students, who went outside and sang peace songs in English, Hebrew, and Arabic, students present at the event said.

"Now then... We can't have you guys quietly protesting outrageous and unfounded racist claims by our friends the Paleostinians, can we? Out you go..."

Would somebody explain to me again why exactly it would have been anything but an utter waste of time for our President to be present at that "conference"?

(Link via Instapundit)
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 11:44:00 AM

 

This Just Has To Be Read...

I'll readily admit that I don't know the next thing about Australian Politics, but this thorough Fisking™ of Ozzie Lefty Loon Kerry Nettle is so beautifully, so "Pound Them Into the Ground"-artistically done, not to mention that it applies equally to Lefties all over the world, that you simply have to go read it.

When you come back, you'll know exactly why Whacking Day is on my permalinks.
posted by Misha at 8/27/2002 09:47:00 AM

 

Heh... The Search Engines Have Finally Noticed Me

And one of the first searches was for "Laurence Eagleburger Drink"... After reading his nonsense, I too want to know what the f*ck he's been drinking. If nothing else, then to warn my friends and family to steer well clear of it.
posted by Misha at 8/26/2002 08:40:00 PM

 

Hands Across Ideological Boundaries...

Every once in a while, you find yourself in utter agreement with people that you'd never thought you'd ever agree with on anything whatsoever. I had just such a moment today.

Amir Butler, I salute you for once.

Before you, my trusty readers, decide that I've lost my ever-loving mind and delete me from the bookmarks, I'd like to explain myself:

Not too long ago, a Complete Idiotarian of the Worst Kind (arguably insane, but that's no excuse) by name of Robert J. Goldstein, a podiatrist of Florida, decided that in order to serve right vs. wrong, he had to deliberately blow up demonstrably and certifiably innocent Moslems in this country.

Now I perfectly understand the pain and rage that Mr. Goldstein must have felt, the pain that most decent people feel, I'm personally very grateful that I didn't have the launch codes on Sept. 11th 2001, or I might have done something that I'd have spent the rest of my life regretting, but that's no excuse.

Unfortunately (and predictably, given the numbers) one blogger took it upon himself to defend the indefensible. The blogger I'm talking about is Alley Writer, who apparently hates every Moslem so bad that he's quite prepared to describe Robert J. Goldstein as "a thwarted hero who could no longer allow Jews to be murdered unavenged."

Mr. "Alley Writer": I do share your point of view that the only way to win this war is to take it to the enemy. But that, ironically enough, is exactly where we differ. You see the "enemy" as innocent Moslems anywhere you can find them, I see them as Islamo-fascist nutcases who have declared themselves enemies of ours. To be sure, there has to be overlaps, but to deliberately plan blowing up men, women and children who have done absolutely nothing wrong, is just as despicable as what the people we're at war against are doing.

I do deplore the loss of civilian life in the Middle East as a consequence of our war against all that is evil, but if it ever reaches the point where civilians are our deliberate targets, as in Mr. Goldstein's case, then I won't stop at "deploring". I will be up on the barricades asking what the Hell this country has come to.

As to Mr. Butler's "outing" you, I can only say that, whereas it goes against my principles in the worst possible way, in your case I have to wonder if it's not the best way to deal with you. Clearly you're so blinded by hatred that you can no longer see the line between losing innocent lives as a tragic consequence of war and deliberately aiming for them. If you'd posted a retraction the day after, I wouldn't have had a problem, we all get irate from time to time. But seeing as how you seem to stand by your point of view (anybody who doubts me can peruse Alley Writer's site), which is to say that everybody who happens to be Moslem is a "legitimate" target, whether they've actually done anything wrong or not, I have to ask myself if it's safe to have you wandering the streets.

I refuse to become that which I loathe.

And that is why I, for once, find myself in agreement with one of the WarBloggerWatcherWussies...

And I stand by it...

If you believe that I'm the nutcase now, please delete me from your bookmarks. I don't want you ever coming by again...

UPDATE:I believe I have to come up with a slight clarification to the above:

I stand by every word up there, but kindly don't think that it means that I hereby endorse everything that Mr. Butler has to say, because I don't. As a matter of fact this is the first time when I find myself in agreement with anything he says, but that doesn't mean that he's any less right on this issue.

Again: On...this...issue...

It's often been claimed by various and sundry Idiotarians that we "warbloggers" only see the splinter in our brothers' eyes but fail to see the beam in our own. This, of course, is utterly and completely stupid as my own and several other "warbloggers"' posts on this subject, among others, should clearly prove.

However, I still can't seem to find much to refute the opposite claim anywhere. Where's the outrage from the Lefty Looniebin over the recent murder of a mother of 7 by Paleostinian thugs? Where's the outrage (without "but"s, please) over 9/11? Where's the outrage over a Christian nun beheaded in Baghdad?

All I see is a constant stream of excuses for the inexcusable.

Would be nice if that was to change, wouldn't it?
posted by Misha at 8/26/2002 07:46:00 PM

 

We're All Nazis...

...or so Philip the WarBloggerWatchWussie seems to think (and I'm really stretching the definition of "think" here):

Here is my graph by graph rebut. I have occasionally crossed out what I thought were errors and inserted what I thought were needed corrections.

Most of us are familiar with that technique. It's taken from "Strawman Building for Complete Idiots". You really should read the whole book instead of just perusing the pictures, Philly.

James Lileks: Mr. SS believes that America is - wait for it - A NAZI STATE! and one of is proofs was “the complete sellout to corporate interests ( a definition of fascism by the way

Philly: a.)Actually, what I said, and this was buried in our oft disappearing comments section (apologies, although it's getting better)

No it isn't...

Philip: is that while it didn't look like Nazi Germany in 1940, it sure has that fiery burning Kristallnacht smell of the early 1930s or thereabouts.

It does, Philly? Please elaborate...

Philip: The main idea here, of course, is that you don't wait until 1940 because by 1940 it's way way too late. So, you look out for the early signs of fascism (all borrowed from Introducing Fascism and Nazism, or what I call the Mike the Dog Story): a strong state with a powerful executive which did not require democratic consultation before acting,

Any powerful executive? I guess we've got Kristallnachts brewing all over the world, then. And "not" democratically consulting before acting? What in the name of the Nine Keepers of the Gates of Hell would you call what Bush has been doing over the last 11 months?

And what was all that about that decision of Congress, unanimous except for EX-congressfilth McKinney? Jesus Christ, you're stupid!

Philip: combined with a hatred of bourgeois democracy (let's define that as civil liberties and the 2000 election and so far, so good),

Yep, Dubya hates me awright. The first thing he did to show me how deeply he scorns me and all that I stand for was to give me 600 bucks.

Philip: Hatred of communism and socialism as political movements based on the idea of class differences and class antagonisms...Against this idea, Fascism aimed to substitute a corporative state that denied a divergence of class interests between capital and labour

I hate to be the one to break this to you, Philly, but the hatred of communism and socialism in this country is not based on a decree from a nasty dictator, it's based on the fact that it never ever works and that every time you try, several million people tend to die.

Philip: Fascism was frequently subsidized by big industrialists and landowners

So everything an industrialist or landowner subsidizes is "fascism"? My God, that means that both the Dem and the Reps are fascists, if you take a look at donations.

And how come Bill Gates hasn't yet written a check for a couple billion dollars to the neo-nazis?

Philip: aversion to intellectuals whom fascism accused of undermining the old certainties and traditional values (Please see the copious warblogger Hate Minute files regarding Chomsky, Rall, Mike Moore, Fisk, Shropshire Slasher, whatever....)

That is assuming that the aversion to these Idiots that you've so helpfully listed is based on them being "intellectuals", rather than just run-of-the-mill Idiotarians. Yay! I just have to have somebody say something nasty about me and I'm an "intellectual". I guess that means that I'm one already. It also means that Kristallnacht is just around the corner... Oh my!

Philip: and my favorite: Fascism needed scapegoat enemies--"The Other" on whom to focus society's aggressions and hates (Does this really need explanation? We know who this is right, James?)

"The Evil Other"... Hmmm... That would be everybody who makes a lot of money creating jobs instead of standing in the welfare line, everybody who thinks that Gnome Chompsky and Ted Rrrrralph are prime examples of why abortion should remain legal and everybody who believes that freedom is something that has to be defended... No, wait, that would make you the "fascist", wouldn't it?

I'll skip the next part about how the fact that corporations funded Hitler means that anybody funded by corporations are Hitler, because that would just mean too many Hitlers to deal with. The Democratic Party, among others.

James: 1. Rearrangement of the entire national purpose along racial lines. E Pluribus Unum vs. Ein Reich, Ein Volk. I know, I know - just because it’s on the money doesn’t mean it’s so, but if you think this nation is trending towards some sort of government-enforced ethic purity, you really need to get out of your suburb more, and visit me in the city. Black people! Brown people! Yellow people! Mingling and living with impunity!

1.) Philip: Don't you read the enlightening work of everyone's favorite neo-eugenicist "Godless Capitalist". He's creating, I think, a very plausible blueprint for a kind of science-based fascism. You tell Godless boy you sure do sound like a racist and he says "No, it just seems like I hate the blacks...It's all just science old boy..." I also, again, recommend that you read a book called Bertram Gross' "Friendly Fascism". Every country develops it's own kind of fascism.

This is Philip-Speak for "it doesn't matter if it actually has anything to do with fascism. If I say it's fascism, it is. It's just a different kind of fascism. Looky here:

Philip: Like I said before in the comments section, american fascism will have a black guy, a woman, and maybe even a gay guy (Sully it sounds like you...!), but it will still be fascism.

Doesn't sound much like "fascism" to me... But Philly says so, so it must be true...

You're also ignoring that we pretty much live in a segregated, racist society, especially in living patterns and certainly socially.

People tend to hang out with people who share the same values as themselves. E.g.: I tend to hang out with people who have at least half a brain, no matter what skin color, religion or sexual preference they happen to "belong" to. Does that make me a "brain-nazi"? I guess it does...

James: 2. Pagan spirituality The Corporate Theocracy. Hitler cobbled together his batshit mythos from ancient German myths. The idea that his regime was a Christian outfit is another odd belief trundled out by those who think Ashcroft likes to close the door, put on his hip-high black leather boots and strut around to Wagner arias.(Slasher here: Uh...how do you know?) There’s a difference between a President who regards himself as a humble servant of a Merciful God, and a runty sociopath who prongs a chubster over warby songs about leather-clad thundergods.

Philip: 2. Well, we don't need what you affectionately call "batshit mythos" to do evil when you've got good old-fashioned equally "batshit" Christianity to draw from. It's all made up James. Religion is an illusion. Any silly one will do. You haven't gotten this whole Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Christian Right supports the Republican Fascist thing down have ya'?

So Jerry Falwell allegedly supports Republicans, Jerry Falwell is allegedly a fascist (I'll be the first to agree that he's an Idiot) which means that all Republicans are fascist? Ever heard the old "all mackrel live under water and all mackrel are fish does not mean that all things that live under water are fish"?

3.James: Top-down state control of the arts. Denying Karen Finley a government grant because she wants to smear Spam on her hooties is not the same thing.

Philip: 3. Well you don't really need top-down state control of the arts when the same people who control art and the media have the same views as the worst elements of our government. Riddle me this: what's the difference between a state run information structure that pedals the memes of the fascist state and a privatized information structure that pedals the memes of the fascist state? Answer: Not much, said in my best Frank Gorshin cackle.

Yep. I'm with you on that one, Philip. I can hardly stand the fascist memes being peddled by the NYT, Boston Globe, Dan Rather and other notables 24/7. I'm telling you, it's Kristallnacht all over again!

I mean, when Rupert Murdoch gets Oliver Stone to do that 10 hour mini-series on the life of Noam Chomsky well, hey, maybe then I'll be wrong.

When Rupert Murdoch does a 10-hour mini-series on a delusional Fuckwitted Idiotarian such as Gnome "For you, but not for me" Chompsky, I expect his ratings to plummet like Mike Moore's worthless flabby carcass thrown from the top of Reunion Tower.

What you completely fail to understand, you Numbskulled Nitwit, is that refusing to waste time with a fool like Noam Chomsky is not "repression". It's called "supply and demand". In an alternate universe where millions of Americans would actually like to be lectured by that Inflamed Rectum of "Intellectualism", Rupert would be tripping over his own legs to give him some air time.

But oh no, not in your world. In your world the state should decide what people "need" to watch, not the people who are actually doing the watching. Guess what? I'll be happy to pay your one-way fare to China, Philip.

James: 4. Elaborate bureaucracies and nationwide infrastructure devoted to Jew killing. For some curious reason, Nazimerica has chosen to leave this to the PLO.

Philip: 4. Well, have you taken a look at our incarceration rates? Why kill the undesirables when you can make money off them in for profit prisons? I mean, when Glenn "I worry about civil liberties, but I still like Bush" Reynolds starts talking about the country as a possible police state things are trendin' badly. I also define our national military, with its microwave death rays, fuel air bombs and mines mines mines as a "nationwide infrastructure." Call me naive.

Why not just "stupid"?

Let's skip a little, before this post gets too long:

James: 6. Elevation of the dead to National Martyr Status. When children start the day with the Todd Beamer Song, sung to the tune of “Horst Wessel,” you’ll have a point. Note to the dim: “Horst Wessel” is not Lt. Chekhov’s way of describing a spaceship owned by a famous Minneapolis hairstylist.

Philip: 6. Oh man. Now that's frellin' funny. I swear that was so funny I heard the faint whisper of the "Brady Bunch" laff track. No wonder you write for an American daily, well known as the cutting edge of real funny-like humor. I mean, Joe Sobran, Scaife, the horrible mediocrity of the corporate media, it's all a laff riot. Trust me.

So funny, in fact, that you entirely forgot to "rebut" the point...

So let's recap, Philly, shall we?

We don't like communism and socialism, therefore we are Nazis.

We're sick and tired of your "Class Warfare" act, therefore we are Nazis (that one actually fits under the above).

We think that people who hate this country, who babble about "oppression of the poor", yet live in mansions, who think it's great to make fun of orphans and widows are a bunch of raving, hypocritical loons, rather than the "intellectuals" they'd like to portray themselves as, therefore we are Nazis.

We live in a country that produces Ford cars. Ford allegedly admired Naziism, therefore we are all Nazis

We don't really have much in common with fascists, but that doesn't matter. It's just a "different kind of fascism", therefore we are Fascists too.

We tend to hang out with people that we like, therefore we are Fascists.

We rally 'round the flag when we're attacked, therefore we are Nazis.

We're mainly Christian, Jerry "Dimwit" Falwell is a Christian, therefore any Christian is a Nazi.

Noam Chomsky isn't on "Days of our Lives", therefore we are Nazis.

We lock up criminals, therefore we are Nazis.

Is it any wonder to you that nobody takes you seriously, Philly-Boy?
posted by Misha at 8/26/2002 06:12:00 PM