The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler

Rants and Raves from a proud card-carrying, unilateralist and simplistic American member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Oh, and full-time Emperor and Ruler of All the Known Universe and Every Last Organism in it as well.


Ask Mr. Misha

[Email policy: The content of any and all emails sent to the above address will become the property of the owner of this website and eligible for publication, with the exception of personal details. Such details will not be published unless specific permission is given by the sender.]

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting by
Saturday, August 24, 2002
I've Been Having Another Instalanche™
To those of you popping by as a result of this post, I'd like to urge you one more time to go visit The Sine Qua Non Pundit. He is, after all, the one responsible for the post that caused the link and you'd really be cheating yourself if you didn't go read more of his stuff.

(And I owe you a whole lot of beer now, Charles, Thanks!)

Finally, an Idiot
It seems that the Idiotarians are having a hard time getting through on the Dallas Morning News letters section.

Maybe we just don't have that many of 'em in Dallas? No, that would be too optimistic. Today, however, one managed to slip through the barbed wire past the heavily armed guards in the watchtowers that Mr. Ashcroft has set up all over America to Quash Dissent™:
It appears that this president, George W. Bush, assumes that we should destroy the existing regime in Iraq because we can get away with it. Mr. Bush's assumption may prove to be disastrously wrong for all of us. Given the nature of the open society in which we live, we should assume that our enemy has already planted weapons of mass destruction within our borders and that they will use them if they are in danger of being militarily overrun. If this is not so, and Iraq neither has such weapons or the ability to use them, why would we attack them?

Sam Osborne, West Branch, Iowa
Damn! A refugee from the Ashcroft Dissent-Squasher Brigade of Iowa!

Mr. Osborne, allow me to ask you a few simple questions:
Has it occurred to you that Mr. Hussein may not have any means to unleash Hell on us right now but seems awfully interested in getting some in the future? If so, which I somewhat doubt, has it occurred to you that leaning back and waiting for him to acquire such means might be more than just a little bit stupid? You seem to be awfully worried about the possible "disastrous" consequences of sending Mr. Hussein off to meet his raisins, yet when it comes to worrying about a certified madman getting his filthy little hands on weapons of mass destruction, you're worried not at all?
"Ah", I hear you squeak, "but didn't I also just say that he might already have WMDs in place here in the US, and therefore it would be folly for us to awaken his ire?"
Mr. Osborne, I doubt it very much that we can make Mr. Hussein more antagonistic to us than he already is but, if such is the case, what do you suggest? Surrendering to Iraq?

My Good Friend, Nzanga Junior Mobutu
...Just sent me a letter.

Oddly enough, I don't even remember that particular "good friend" but, no matter, he remembers me:

Attn: Managing director/CEO


I am the first son of the late Mobutu Sese Seko, the
former President of the Congo Republic.
...sure you are...
I am presently under protective custody in South Africa as
a political refugee.
You mean, you're in the jug, right?... Mmmkay...
I got your contact during my search for a stranger
that can cooperate with me in this mutual transaction.
A search for a stranger, eh? A "trusted" stranger, no less? How'd you find me, 'coz I can't think of a single search engine that has even noticed me yet...
I want you to note that this business will benefit
both of us.
...of course it will... For one thing, it'll make sure that I won't have to worry about what to do with all of that pesky money in my savings account anymore.
However, you must confirm your ability to handle this because it involves a large amount of money. The money (28 million US DOLLARS is my share of my father's estate. I boxed and shipped the money to a security company abroad at the peak of the war/political crisis that rocked my country few years ago.
...should've boxed and shipped it to me instead...
Now the crisis has ended and I need a trustworthy person like you to proceed to the place of the security company in order to clear the fund and invest on my behalf as I don’t want my name to be used for now.
You just used it, remember?
Note that I will send to you the relevant documents that will enable you take possession of the fund for onward investment for our mutual benefit. All I need
from you is as follows:
...get ready for the hook...
1.A letter of commitment (dully signed) that you will keep the transaction strictly confidential.
...Oh, I won't tell a living soul! Apart from everybody who's reading this. And I promise to sign the paper so "dully" that you'll fall asleep halfway through my middle name...
2. Your confirmation of your ability to handle this.
I can handle it. Now show me the money.
3. Your international passport or driving license number for identification to the security company.
Mheh... I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. I thought you already knew me? I am, after all, a "trustworthy stranger".
4. Your telephone and fax numbers for communication.

5. Your full permanent address.
You can have both as soon as I receive the money in nice, non-sequentially numbered, crisp $100 bills. Deal?
As soon as I get the above information from you, I will disclose to you the name and the country of the security company. I will forward your name and particulars to the security company to enable them contact you accordingly. I will also send to you a LETTER OF AUTHORITY to enable you clear the fund on my behalf. Note that this is a very safe transaction as this money is my share of my father's estate.

i am waiting for your response to enable us proceed.
Please hold your breath while you wait.

Oh, and it's called "POWER OF ATTORNEY", dimwit...

I so love spam...

Reuter Watch
I was browsing through the Jerusalem Post and came across this:
Aug. 24, 2002
Palestinians: IDF destroys three homes in Gaza Strip

Palestinian sources said Saturday that the IDF had demolished three homes near the site of an attack Friday on the Gaza Strip settlement of Kfar Darom, Israel Radio reported.

According to the report the demolitions are part of the IDF policy of "clearing the area" which prevents terrorist from using buildings or trees as a cover from which to launch attacks.

The IDF foiled the attack early Friday morning, shooting dead two of the three attackers who were dressed in Israeli army uniforms.
(Emphasis mine)

Hmmm... I don't remember hearing anything about uniforms... Let's check the Roto-Reuters:
GAZA (Reuters) - Israeli soldiers killed two Palestinian gunmen trying to infiltrate a Jewish settlement Friday, hours after a Palestinian minister failed to convince militants to end attacks on Israelis.

The gunmen, armed with assault rifles and hand grenades, were shot dead in exchanges of fire with troops after they were spotted near the security fence around the Kfar Darom settlement in the Gaza Strip, the army said.
Nope, no mention of dressing up in Israeli uniforms, which is rather strange, considering most people remember what happened last time the Palis played "dress-up".

I guess it's just not newsworthy...

I Swear I'm Not Making This Up...
From the Arab "News":
3 die after drinking cologne
By Faris Al-Hamzani, Arab News Staff

HAIL, 24 August — Three persons died in the northern Hail region recently after drinking eau de cologne containing poisonous methanol, medical sources said.

They said the three were first admitted to Al-Sulaimi Hospital, 150 kms from Hail, after they suffered from stomach ache. They were later shifted to King Khaled Hospital for intensive care.The sources said two of the three died at the intensive care unit of the hospital. "The third was dead when he was brought to the hospital," they added. Clinical tests proved they had been poisoned by an intoxicant.
I suppose they couldn't come up with anything else to use it for
The Commerce Ministry’s anti-trade fraud department has destroyed large quantities of cologne in the past two months after reports of cologne-drinking deaths.
Combine that with temperatures in the 120's, and you have yet another reason why living in compounds if you're a furreiner might not always be a Bad Thing™.

OK, gratuitous swipe, I know, but that's what I do, after all... What does strike me as odd about Arab culture is how their only natural reaction to problems seem to be "Let's Destroy It!" Did it ever occur to the Commerce Ministry Anti-Trade Fraud Dept. (gotta love those names) that cologne might have positive uses and that it might be an idea to educate the population about this, not to mention educating them about the negative consequences of trying to drink "Chanel No 5" On the Rocks?
Last week, four men died in Ballasmer city, north of Abha, after drinking cologne. In June, 19 people died in Makkah and Jizan after drinking the intoxicating perfume.
"Let's destroy it, then blame it on the Jews and the filthy vile influence of decadent Western culture!"

Top 100 Things That Americans Do, Yet Never Receive Credit For
Charles Austin suggests that such a list be compiled and I think it sounds like a neat idea.

Any suggestions?

Rip Off From the Comments Section
I don't usually rip entire comments (it's like stealing somebody else's work), but Charles Austin's comment on the "True Majority" post is just so damn good that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't give it a wider audience. (And if you haven't yet visited his blog, I just want you to know that this is how he writes all the time. Just saying, you know...).

Ladies and Gents, I give you Charles Austin:
With respect to the hoary old chestnut about the US having 5% of the population but generating X% of the badness of the world, let's not forget that that the US also:

Stopped 100% of the major wars the world has known in the last 100 years.

Prevents or stops smaller wars across the globe in a way that no other country or international organization, i.e., the EU and the UN, can even contemplate. Who really stopped the invasion of South Korea? Or brought the killing in the Balkans to an end? Or keeps the lid on the Middle East by funneling huge sums of money to the belligerents?

Put 100% of all the men on the moon.

Creates most of the new pharmaceuticals for all that ails the world.

Props up much of the world's economy through its massive foreign trade deficit, stable dollar, leadership of the G7+1, advocacy for free trade (usually), and funding of the IMF.

Peacefully accepts more immigrants than anyone in the world.

Has the longest standing constitution of any government in the world, providing the strongest protection for individual liberty of any nation in the world.

Invented the Internet, making it possible for people to spread their wisdom (and stupidity) wider and faster than ever before.

And most importantly, has the self-control, self-confidence, and morality to not use its global hyper-superpower status to start annexing land and resources for any reason it wants.

Charles Austin
The only thing that I might want to add to this is the question as to who "Invented the Internet" (and no, it wasn't The al-Bore). I believe that I remember something about the Swiss, more specifically CERN, doing the original groundwork for this one, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

Whether I'm wrong or not, there's no doubt, however, that without the uniquely American way of taking an idea and actually making it work, the Internet would most likely still be limited to a few geeks out there, so Charles' point remains the same and it remains accurate.

New Ozzie on the Blog
I've yet to find an "Ozzie-Blog" that I don't like, so it was no big surprise to me when I, after a little bird had whispered a URL in my ear (freaked me out, you don't expect lil' birds to spit out URLs) found yet another one: Ladies and Gents, I present to you Bargarz, "rumblings from the belly", another great blog from the Ozzie perspective!

The True "Majority" Speaks Out
... Which is quite an accomplishment considering that they've got both their feet stuck in their mouths and their heads firmly ensconced deep in their colons. Ready for some "feel good", totally removed from reality blather from the self-proclaimed "majority"? I know you are, so let's go:

Posted proudly on the front page is the following statement:
These principles are also revenue-neutral, meaning the investments proposed are entirely funded by reductions in unnecessary spending on Cold War-era weapons that no longer contribute to our national security.
We'll get to the "principles" in a moment. For now, I'd like to ask the Chittering Chowderheads how they're gonna defend those "principles" without those horribly "obsolete Cold War Weapons"? I mean, just in case a third world lunatic decides that our "principles" don't quite fit in his vision say, somebody like Osama has-been Laden or Saddam Hussein? You're gonna gag them with "love-ins", I'm sure. Well don't come crying to me when they blow up your daffodils and incense sticks with dirty nukes...

Well, on to the principles and, more importantly, the full description of each principle. Get your buckets ready:
1. Attack World Hunger and Poverty as if Our Life Depends on It: It Does.
Anchor our foreign policy in the compassion for the poor that unites all the world's religions. Reduce the debts of impoverished countries.
...this translates into "send more money". Why? Because you're rich, dammit, and they're not!
Shift foreign aid from buying weapons to feeding people.
And how, pray tell, would you actually enforce such a policy (which is sensible, I agree)? You don't want to use any of that nasty obsolete "Cold War Weaponry", would you? Maybe you'd ask Bobby Mugabe or Snotty Hussein real nice like? Or maybe you'd just refuse to give aid to dictatorships? No, can't do the last part, that would be "cultural imperialism", after all.
2. Champion the Rights of Every Child, Woman and Man.
Make America stand for justice, not expediency. Stop turning a blind eye to governments that abuse their own people.
You mean we can actually go ahead and invade Iraq? After all, the leader of that country did did gas a considerable number of his own population. Of course we can't, as you so moronically spell out in your next few sentences:
Ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child and the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women. If punishing a foreign tyrant means, in actual practice, punishing the women and children who are his victims, desist, and find another path.
In other words: If there's any chance that anybody might get hurt, no matter what the potential benefit and no matter how many people might benefit from it, don't do it. Hmm... That eliminates just about everything, with the exception of sending nice postcards to the tyrant and asking him really nicely to stop doing whatever it is that he's doing. Next you'll demand that I pay the postage for those as well.

Just off the top of my head: Would it be too much to ask if I was to say: "Please provide me with a realistic and workable, not to mention effective, 'other path'".
I knew it would, that's why I asked, you Babbling Buffoons.
3. End our Obstructionism to the World's Treaties.
Throw America's full weight behind the United Nations.
"Throw away our sovereignty, let the UN decide, through unelected institutions, what's good for the US population".

Over my dead body, you Apelike Assholes of Asininity.
Pay our UN dues on time and without conditions.
"Throw away our sovereignty and pay for the privilege". Sounds perfectly... idiotic to me.
Withdraw our lonely opposition to the landmine ban, Kyoto Protocol to halt global warming and International Criminal Court.
"Unilaterally stop using landmines in spite of the fact that we're actually one of the nations using it the least and in spite of the fact that it won't change other nations' use of it one whit. Sign the suicide pact of Kyoto, not because of scientific evidence, but because it's such a nice thing to do and let every bumfucked nation from Bolivia to Bourkina Faso prosecute our citizens on trumped up charges".

You're a bunch of fucking loonies...
Show once again the "decent respect for the opinions of mankind" that our Declaration of Independence affirms.
Sorry, but that doesn't compute. We'll further affirm our Declaration of Independence by throwing away our independence? Have you ever actually read that document, not to mention the Constitution of the United States of America? If you have a copy, please give it back to the library that you checked it out from so that people who might actually understand it will get a chance to read it.
4. Reduce our Dependence on Oil & Lead the World to an Age of Renewable Energy.
Oil holds us hostage to regimes hated by their own people;
You know, that actually makes sense! Especially if you add "and regimes that hate us". Maybe there's hope yet.
their hatred transfers to us.
So It's All Our Fault™. I should've figgered. It doesn't strike you in the least bit odd how that hatred for their own regime magically transfers to us, rather than fuelling much-needed rebellions? Of course it doesn't.
America is 5% of the world's people but we generate 25% of the pollution that causes global warming.
...that allegedly causes the alleged global warming. You also fail to mention that we create well over 25% of the world's goods.
It's our duty to lead.
And so we do. We lead in almost every area I can think of. The only area I can come up with right now where we don't is in the relative number of Imbecile Idiotarians. The EUnuchs have cornered that market. But if you guys keep up, we might get ahead there too.
We will reduce our energy consumption 25% by 2010. Make a Moon Mission scale commitment to develop solar and wind power technologies. Set and meet a goal of generating 20% of our energy from renewable sources by 2010.
If you feel like moving back into the caves, go ahead. You could start by not wasting energy consuming bandwidth with your numbfucked "principles". I'm all for renewable sources, I just want to make sure that they're a realistic alternative before I go ahead and make the change. "Reduce our energy comsumption 25% by 2010" indeed. HOW, without all becoming Amish? HOW, you Slobbering Snotskulls?
5. Close the Book on the Cold War and End the Nuclear Nightmare Forever.
Cast a cold eye on giant weapons designed to destroy giant enemies that no longer exist.
We won the Cold War, remember? Of course, this means that we don't have any enemies anymore, right? The world became a peaceful Heaven on Earth overnight, right? Remember 9-11? Remember the wonderful years between WWI and WWII where everybody, except the Germans, were busy disarming themselves?
Cancel obsolete Cold War weapons. We applaud the nuclear force cuts announced by President Bush, but even 2,000 warheads poised and aimed at Russia are unwise.
It just so happens that most of us equipped with a brain know full well that the Russians, to come up with a wild scenario, just might have another coup and that, in such a situation, it's quite nice to have an effective deterrent against whoever might take over. They still have nukes, you know, so it makes perfect sense for us to have our nukes pointed in their direction. Where'd you rather we point them? French Guinea?
We squander $35 billion a year on this obsolete arsenal. Save half of that money, take our missiles off "launch on warning" and invite all nuclear nations to negotiate a nuclear weapons ban.
"Cripple our deterrence and ask the rest of the world if they won't, pretty pretty please, do the same". They might not jump us for a while, but that's only because they'd be too busy laughing.
6. Renounce Star Wars and the Militarization of Space.
After spending $134 billion dollars (twice our lifetime commitment to cancer research!) our military has nothing to show for its obsession with a dubious Missile Defense but the deep suspicions of our new allies. Enough is enough.
Yep, let's not only remove our means of deterrance, let's also make sure that we can't defend ourselves if somebody should decide to lob a few nukes in our direction. Why not just go ahead and give the whole damn country away. Oh, I forget, you already proposed that above. My mistake.
7. Make Globalization Work for, not against, Working People.
Open the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank to the public. Let sunshine into the councils of the World Trade Organization and the North American Free Trade Agreement.
You seem to have forgotten that the Global Economy actually employs "Working People". But when you say "Working People", you mean zit-faced teens without a job and washed out hippies wearing ski masks and lobbing stones at the police, don't you?
Affirm that the welfare of the planet's people supersedes corporate patents and profits.
...and watch corporations go swirling down the drain as they realize that there's no longer any profit involved. Then watch all of us sitting around, unfed, unwashed and unemployed, and bitch about how miserable we are.
8. Ensure Equal Treatment Under Law for All.
Vigorously enforce and strengthen the nation’s civil rights laws that guarantee freedom from discrimination based on gender, race, sexual orientation or physical ability. Reform America’s criminal justice system laws so that justice is no longer systematically dispensed in a way that disadvantages minorities.
In other words, make sure that people are punished based on the percentage their particular subgroup makes up of the population, not according to whether or not they actually committed a crime.
9. Get Money out of Politics.
Curtail the vast corrupting influence of corporate campaign contributions, which make Congress beholden to private interests. Enact public campaign financing--we can fund it entirely by closing a single offshore corporate tax loophole!
Get your friggin' hands off my wallet, you Illiberal Utopian Statist, unless you want me to chop it off with extreme prejudice. You wanna pay, you pay.
10. Close the Gap between Rich and Poor Kids at Home.
All these words will ring hollow to the world if America does not close the chasm between rich and poor in our own society.
You could've just said "socialism"...
We will fully fund Head Start and health insurance for the millions of American children who can't get either.
No you won't. You'll grab the money to fund it out of my wallet at gunpoint, if necessary. Then you'll hand it out to people that didn't earn it that you think are more "deserving" of it and then, finally, bloviate about how "compassionate" you are.

Try it, you Detestably Dense Dimwits. I double-dog dare you... [click]

(Thanks to Andrea Harris for the link. She, in turn (credit where credit is due), got it from Cut on the Bias)

Friday, August 23, 2002
Spreading the News
Note: I didn't write the following, but I do love every bit of it. All praise for the sheer brilliance of it should go to the rightful author, Claire Belinski, who deserves every bit of the bandwidth that I can give to her and more, much, much more.

Without further ado, I present to you:
By Claire Berlinski

SADDAM, LET’S THINK outside the box for a change.

We know you don't really give two shits about the Palestinians, and you sure as hell don't give a rat's ass about Islam, either. And we know you're a practical kind of man. So here's a little suggestion that might meet both of our needs.

Here's the way it is. Unless we make some kind of arrangement here, we're going to have to turn all of Iraq into a pane of stained glass. It'll be an ugly business; everyone in the world will get their panties in a wad about it, and we'll all have to waste a lot of our valuable time and energy holding useless press conferences explaining things we'd rather not explain. We will, that is. You won't, because you'll be dead. You can take Israel with you, sure, but you're still going to be dead as a dodo, and there ain't no 72 virgins in Paradise waiting for you. Take my word for it, we know from the pleasures of the flesh in our country.

Now here's what we suggest, Saddam. This might come as a surprise to you, but we've been giving it some thought, and lately it occurs to us that the Iraqis and the Americans might actually have more in common than we first thought. You know that book about what to do when someone moves your cheese? Well, we’ve read it too, and it really spoke to us. It’s time to look at that cheese again.

For one thing, we've noticed lately that we really don't feel a lot of love for the Saudis, and it just doesn't seem to us that they're running those oil fields as responsibly as they could. And you know the Kuwaitis? Well, we were wrong, you were right, and we're man enough to admit it. They're repulsive little ingrates and they're too damned cowardly to have a country of their own. Hell, they probably were stealing your oil.

So you know what, Saddam?

Go ahead.

Yep, you heard us right. That was the green light, just like the one you thought you got from that Glaspie woman, only this time we mean it. Take Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia too. It would take you what, three days? Go ahead and butcher the Al Sabahs and the whole Saudi royal family. Have at it. Any dissent? We know you know how to handle it, just don't tell us about the details. Let Noam Chomsky worry about it.

And hell, Saddam, you want a free hand over Iran? We see no problem with that either. We know they gave you a bit of hassle the last time around, but after 23 years under the Ayatollahs, this time they'll probably be throwing roses at your tanks. As far as we're concerned, you can have the whole Persian Gulf. All of it. You can even keep your WMD program. We'll sell you the damned Trident missiles if you like, just as long as you keep them pointed toward the right people. Oh, and we'll give you a free hand to slaughter all the Islamic fundamentalists you want -- in Saudi Arabia, outside Saudi Arabia, in Iran, Yemen, wherever. We know you're dying to do it anyway; heck, you love killing people. Give 'em a taste of what the Kurds got. Like I said, we don't want to know the details. Kind of like we said to the Indonesians back in the day. Let Robert Fisk worry about getting the scoop. (Oh, and if something unfortunate were to happen to him, you didn't hear it from us, but you know -- accidents do happen. The will of Allah and all that.)

Way we see it, Saddam, there’s really no reason the two of us should go to war when we really have a lot of common emotional needs. Sure, we think you’re a little ruthless, a bit of a homicidal maniac, but you know, we managed to see the bright side of Stalin when we needed to, and in retrospect, it’s a fine thing what those Russians did at Stalingrad – that could have been our boys taking losses like that. We think we might have sort of a similar situation here. Let’s face it, we Americans just don't have the stomach to do what it really takes to wipe out these Islamic lunatics. And they seem awfully serious about wanting us all dead. So why not give the job to a man who has both the appetite to do the job right and the expertise?

We just have a few little things we'd like in return. Lay off of Israel, stop sending money to those idiotic suicide bombers, and keep the price of oil below nine dollars a barrel – forever. The way we see it, everyone ends up happy, except maybe the Al Sauds, and frankly, at this point, their happiness is just not our number one priority. You get what you always wanted – total control of the Gulf. We get what we always wanted -- cheap oil and the assurance that every fundamentalist maniac in the Middle East will enjoy your excellent vacation facilities and your trademark Iraqi hospitality. We can be buddies again, just like we were during the Cold War. Remember the good times we had together back then?

What are the Europeans going to say about it? They're the ones who keep blathering on about how they don't want us to antagonize you, so they should be thrilled by the announcement of the Iraqi-American Peoples' Alliance for Peace. And figure this: We lift the sanctions, you control all the oil in the Gulf, you start pumping it out like there's no tomorrow, and within a week you'll be able to feed all those poor little starving Iraqi children and keep your palaces maintained in the fashion to which you've become accustomed. No more of this undignified slinking from house to house every night to escape detection – you could really live in style. And a constant supply of nine-buck-a-barrel oil will do wonders for this unpleasant little economic slump we've been facing here. It's a win-win situation.

So that's really the deal, Saddam old buddy. It's simple, isn't it? Lay off of Israel, do the needful with the terrorists, and the Gulf is yours. We tried to do the right thing by the Kuwaitis and the Saudis, but you know, there comes a point in every relationship where you have to ask – "Am I giving more than I'm getting here?" And honestly, we think that point came and went a long time ago. It's like they say in the books about healthy relationships. We feel like one of those women who love too much. Have you read that one? It really spoke to us, all that stuff about being co-dependent and all. Always bailing out some penny-ante, Jew-hating Gulf potentate whenever he gets himself into some stupid mess, and getting no thanks, none at all, not one word, just more abuse about how we're such bullies and warmongers.

Well, we've talked it over with our therapists and we've seen that we're worth more than that. It's all about Toughlove now. If they think they don't need us, fine – let them go it on their own, just don't come crying to us when the Republican Guards start yanking out the plugs on those tiny widdle incubating babies. They had their chance.

Nine dollars a barrel. Lay off of Israel. Do whatever it is that you do best with the Islamic Fundamentalists. And the Gulf is yours forever.

Tell me you don't see the beauty in it, Saddam.

And of course, remember the alternative.

(thanks to The VodkaPundit and Little Green Footballs for the heads up)

...or whatever the hell I'm supposed to call it.

The tiny little dweebs over at Retirement Home For the Terminally Schtoopid are banging their scrawny chests and declaring victory over Pejman Yousefzadeh. Over what? Because they "caught" him mixing up two polls, that's why... Not that it has anything to do with the substance of what Pejman said, of course, but you wouldn't expect WarWussies to deal with substance, now would you?

The Shrieking Shrill of the Stoopidsphere™, Philly Shropshire is still too busy bench pressing (in case somebody comes by to get him) to post, so I'll have to make do with another Idiotarian, Jason Lubyk, for my Fisking Pleasure:
Phil sez: If you want war so much why don't you join the army and fight it yourself?

Pej sez: If everyone who supported the war was to do that 164 million Americans would have to join the military and there would be no one left to work let alone blog!

I think Pej misses the point.
Based on personal experience, I find it highly doubtful that "Stud-Man" Phil had a point in the first place, but do go on... It's not like Philly is available to elaborate on the point anyways, so you might as well display your Insane Mind Reading Abilities™:
All he's told me is that there are 164 million Americans who want to send the 102,448 Americans on active duty to war, while they sit in front of their computer and TV screens, eat chips and wish death on brown people.
Nope. What he has told you, if you'd care to pull the tofu out of your ears, is that to demand that anybody who supports pre-emptively whacking murderers over the head before they kill another 3,000 (or worse) Americans, black, brown, red, white and polka-dotted, actually go fight the war personally is as practically impossible as it is disingenous. It's like saying that you can't have an opinion about proper punishment for murder unless you've been killed at least once.

In plain English: It's Schtoopid.
That there are 164 million American's who don't want to put their own asses on the line, who want to send people just trying to pay their bills and feed their kids to their doom.
You just keep digging that hole deeper and deeper, don't you? For the record, I'm one of those 164 million and I don't mind one bit putting my own ass on the line, actually I'd one heck of a lot rather that my sorry old ass be put on the line than somebody else's, especially a young man or woman who haven't really had a life yet. I joined in '86 and paid my dues, and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm too damn old now, I'd be more than happy to go do some more, so that my boys can grow up in a society that don't need to fear "brown people" flying planes into office buildings.

And "just trying to pay their bills and feed their kids" is just about the stupidest and most derogatory description of the brave men and women of our Armed Forces that I've read in a long time. I can only hope for your sake that they don't ever waste their time reading it too.

For your information, my pointy-skulled little friend, I didn't join the Armed Forces "just to pay my bills and feed my kids". I could've gotten a job flipping burgers just like you in a heartbeat, if that was my ambition. I joined because I, unlike you, realized that the only reason that I had the freedom to say anything that I damn well please without worrying that some totalitarian idiot might chop my head off, that I live in the richest and most free society on the planet, is that my parents and grandparents and many, many others, had the courage and gumption to stand up and give their lives, if need be, so that their kids might enjoy the same.

I didn't join so that I could go kill "brown people", as a matter of fact I'd have preferred it very much if I'd never had to kill anybody, it's not actually something you relish, but I realized full well that it was part of the job and if I didn't like it, nobody forced me to join in the first place.

It's a dirty job at times, but somebody has to do it so that ungrateful swine like you can reap the benefits.
Lowest instincts costumed in faux-ethical attire. Perfuming your shit.

What's the root cause that makes you want to cause others to suffer? Can you become aware of the rationalizations that allow you to hurt others without guilt?
Who says that there's no "guilt" involved? Do you really believe, in your retarded little mind, that soldiers enjoy killing? The issue is that the others want to hurt us and I can either hurt them first or sit down and allow myself and my loved ones to get hurt. I assure you that I'd feel a heck of a lot more guilty if I was to choose the second option. Refusing to make a choice is also making a choice, buckaroo...
Look at this anti-war blog.

And look at this war blog.

Who has the more beautiful mind?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, as they say. You might wanna ask who has the more functional mind.
PS: By the way Pej, the Gallup polls say that 53% of Americans support sending ground troops into Iraq (not 69%) and only 41% say they would support an extended war in Iraq.

Is this where I am to insert a stupid warblogger saying like "fact checked your ass," "Fisked," or "advantage, Warblogger Watch?"
Nope. What you did was "catching" Pejman mixing up two different polls, an error that he has since corrected, by the way. In order to "fact check his ass" you would have had to point out something that was factually incorrect, e.g. proving that there never had been a poll stating that 69% of the population were for military action. In order to "Fisk", you'd have had to dismember his argument (which was, I believe, that it's idiotic to discard the opinion about the war of people who aren't actually going to war), which you fail utterly to do.
What a fucking joke.
Indeed you are...

If Rachel Ruled the World
...or just a corner of it, I'd be applying for a visa immediately!

She posts a number of suggestions for new laws, all of which I agree with. Here are a few of my favorites, but the rest are great as well, go check them out:
Any parent who allows his or her child to ride in a motor vehicle without securely fastened seat belts shall be forced to view a three-hour slide show of horrific car accidents thrice weekly for no less than six months.

Any parent who allows his or her small child to run rampant through a public space, out of view of the parent, shall be forced to submit to the verbal abuse of no less than 100 parents of kidnapped children for no less than 12 hours per parent of kidnapped child, totalling 1,200 hours of verbal abuse.

Any liberal/Democrat/socialist/progressive who uses the phrase "these are just tax cuts for the wealthy" when discussing Republican-proposed tax cuts for all taxpayers shall be forced to wear a placard bearing the phrase "I do not understand mathematics or logic" for no less than one year.

Any teenaged individual who treats an elderly person rudely shall be forced to wear a placard bearing the phrase "I am an ungrateful, ignorant, ill-raised waste of human flesh" for no less than one year.

Any individual who insists that the right of law-abiding citizens to keep and bear arms should be eliminated or restricted shall be required to reside in the "gun-free" nation of their choosing for no less than one year, or until such time as the individual can demonstrate comprehension of the fact that only criminals have guns in a "gun-free" society.
Like I said, the rest is great too. Go read it... You'll be sorry if you don't...

To Fellow Lileks Readers:

Sit down, have a chair and make yourselves at home while I go get some cold ones!

I hope you like it here and that you decide to come by more often. Glad you came!

Link Additions and a HOLY SH*T!
Sometimes, when you think that you've got all your bases covered and that this is as good as it's gonna get, life has a habit of delivering a slap right between the eyes. I had such a moment just now (which is what the "Holy sh*t" refers to).

I was browsing through the "comments" to see what my readers had to say about the nonsense that I waste precious bandwidth with in the guise of "intelligent commentary" when I noticed that there was a comment from a certain "lileks" (there was a second one that somehow landed in the shredder, I swear I don't know how that happened... Yeah right ;-) ) and I was thinking to myself: "Is this? No it couldn't be... Surely your already over-inflated ego is making stuff up..."

So I dragged my mouse pointer over to the blogroll on the left to check if it was true and discovered, to my eternal embarassment, that I didn't have a link to James Lileks's daily bleats... I don't know why not, it's not like I haven't been reading his bleats religiously every day for the longest time. I suppose it's because some things are just a given, so much so that you forget to do them, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, back to the point, I've really really arrived! I'm mentioned in the Bleats!

It's not the traffic that it's bound to generate that makes me proud, it's the fact that a writer that I deeply admire has come across my little corner of blogdom and, even more importantly, found it worth mentioning. Thanks, James, and sorry 'bout the lack of a link, the error has been fixed.

And that's not all. The "daddy" of War Now, a most excellent Anti-Idiotarian blog, came by and asked if he could join the posse.

Not only can you join it, I'd be honored to have you along for the ride, welcome aboard!

He's mean, he's vicious, he's outspoken and he's a card-carrying Anti-Idiotarian. Go read him now!

And the final addition: The One and Only VodkaPundit points me to a site called The Daily Sedative, an absolutely hilarious site that rivals "The Onion". You'll be cheating yourself if you don't go check it out right now.

Thursday, August 22, 2002
I've Got This Theory of Mine
I've given up on slapping the WarBloggerWussies around.

Why? Because their intellect is clearly superior to mine?

Not hardly. The main reason is that I'm getting sick and tired of waiting for their silly page to load, mainly because they still rely on 'enetation' for their comments. It may be a Sekrit Stragedji™ of theirs: They're either too damn moronic to figure out that there are about 6 million other hosts out there, or they're already aware of the fact that the only ones patient enough to wait for their site to load are already mind-numbingly dumb zombies of the far left...

At any rate: Who gives a flip?

Did I Mention That I LOVE My Readers?
...Yes I did, but some things just can't be said often enough. And it's not only because of the Mighty Sitemeter Count™, although it sure does feel good to know that you're not the proverbial tree falling in the proverbial forest, I'm grateful to everybody who pops by for a look, no, the real reason that I really really do love my readers is that you're all such an inspiration to me.

You're the best cure against Writer's Block there ever was and I appreciate every one of you very much.

To give you an example, just the latest one, is the well-known BigWig of Silflay Hraka, who writes, in response to my post where I moan about always being the last with everything:
I always link to things I like, even if 50 bloggers have come before me. I never know if I might be the straw that forced the camel to surf. I've got RWN on my blogroll, for God's sake, and I saw it first thru you.
First of all: It's extremely gratifying to learn that you were the one who made somebody go read something you feel is important, but, more importantly, BigWig made me think, which is no mean feat in itself.

Your blog, whatever the hell it's about, is first and foremost about you. What you think, how you feel and about what you think is worth spending some time on. It's not about getting an almightily high hit count, although I'll be the first to admit that it's a great feeling when your site meter starts clicking, so don't think for a single moment that "what you're thinking isn't all that great, because somebody's already covered it better". Because that kind of thinking defeats the whole purpose of 'blogging, at least as far as I'm concerned. Your blog is about you and every single thing on it should reflect what kind of person you are, highs and lows, ups and downs. So whenever you see something that you think is great, link it.

For one thing, it tells your readers something about what kind of a person you are, for another it gives your readers, in case they haven't heard of that site (and it does happen), a chance to find something new that they might like.

For another, you just might be the one to direct somebody else to that site, no matter how "small" you are. And you'll be doing everybody a favor that way, it's a classical win-win situation.

But again, most of all:

It's about you.

(Thanks to Bigwig and I promise I'll stop being serious now... For a while...)

(It's not like anyone is actually reading this crap, after all...)

Another Wussie Can't Keep His Mouth Shut
Roto-Rooters ("One man's news agency is another man's case of third stage syphilis") provide yet another Idiotarian with a soap box from which he can bleat:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Former Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger, part of a Republican faction with reservations about attacking Iraq, said on Thursday he was not convinced that the time was right for military action.

Unless the Bush administration had evidence that the Iraqi government is very close to developing weapons of mass destruction, he would not support a unilateral U.S. military campaign to get rid of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, he told CNN in an interview.
I wonder how much evidence those freaks need. Most likely a full written confession from Sammy, written in triplicate.
"When we don't have the allies with us, when we haven't very clearly stated what we will do once we've gotten Saddam out of there, assuming we can get him out without too much agony, then we ought to take our time," he said.
Now let's go over this one more time, Mr. "I got my head stuck in a pickle jar":

We don't need to "have our allies with us", for a number of very good reasons:

1) We were attacked, we have every right in the book to defend ourselves without asking anybody for permission.

2) Even if we don't have our allies with us (and I strongly suspect that the Anglosphere will stand up for us again, they always have in the past, God Bless Them Forever!), it still won't change a damn thing about the equation: We were attacked, we're more than likely to be attacked again unless we do something to attack them first and it's not like any help they would send (with the exception of the aforementioned Anglosphere) would be worth waiting for anyway. And even if we have to do it alone, we're still more than capable of doing so.

3) We don't have a choice, much less do we have "time", unless you believe that sitting down and waiting for the next attack is a "choice". If so, I suggest you go stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Same result, only it's guaranteed to be quick, unless you're as inept a shot as Abu Nidal (no, I don't believe the "suicide" claim one little bit).

4) It's not very important right now what comes after Saddam. All that matters right now is that there is an "after Saddam", and you're not helping.
"I'm not at all convinced now that this is something we have to do at this very moment," he added.
That only proves that you've been stuck with your head up your ass for so long that you most likely have become adapted to breathing methane.
The United States would have to use overwhelming force to make sure a military operation succeeds, at a cost of tens of billions of dollars, and would have to stay in Iraq as an occupying force for years to come, he said.

"All of those things need to be made clear to the American people," said Eagleburger,
If you're reading the polls, and you must be, you're a politician after all, it should be painfully clear to you that the American people is awfully clear on the question. It's only no-good witless fucks such as yourself that are still in doubt.
"I need to be told in no uncertain and clear terms that he now has his finger on a trigger for a nuclear weapon or something of this sort that is close to being developed.
What you need to be told is where the door is and to not let it slap you in your incumbent butt on the way out...

More From Moussaoui
...who's still trying to figger out the intricacies of the American legal system that he despises so much... AP has the goods...
ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) - Zacarias Moussaoui, who has derided his court-appointed lawyers as "bloodsuckers," is working through an intermediary to get legal help from the attorneys he despises as he prepares for his Jan. 6 trial as an accused Sept. 11 conspirator.
So let me get this straight: Mr. "I'm not guilty... Erm... Yes I am... I mean, no I'm not" is now trying to confuse us all further by using the lawyers he hate? Of course, he's using an intermediary, so that makes it alright, I suppose... God, he's funny!
After withdrawing the guilty plea, Moussaoui was faced with the realization that he had to prepare a defense for a case that could end with his execution.
...which is what is known amongst professionals, in legal parlance, as an "Oops..."
Moussaoui said in court July 25 he would begin indirect contact with the lawyers but added: "It is most disgusting."
...I say, old chap! Most vile and disgusting!
Since that day, motions by Moussaoui and the court-appointed team indicate the defendant has been communicating with the lawyers through a Muslim professor, Sadiq Reza of New York Law School in Manhattan. Reza declined to comment on his role in the case.

"It appears that Mr. Moussaoui, without changing his view that we are adverse to him, will be seeking assistance from Professor Reza, who has indicated he will need assistance from us precisely in the areas related to our discovery (evidence) review," the court-appointed team said in an Aug. 16 motion.

A defense team motion a week earlier said Moussaoui "recently re-engaged communication" with the lawyers but did not want them initiating motions on his behalf.

Before the July 25 hearing ended, Moussaoui told the defense team headed by federal public defender Frank Dunham Jr. that he was giving the lawyers their first assignment: find a man described by Moussaoui as a British agent and a conspirator in the Sept. 11 attacks.

"We're pleased to help him in any way we can and we will be out there looking for the witness as soon as he sends us the particulars," Dunham said after the hearing.
Didn't you hear the man? Find a Briton, any Briton... Now get to it! This is most disgusting!
None of this help has persuaded Moussaoui to let the lawyers contact him directly in the Alexandria Detention Center.

"As a protection against any pig disease there will be no more unsanitize contact with the affected horde of standby lawyers," he wrote in an Aug. 8 motion. He still calls the team "bloodsuckers" in his motions.
I'm sure that'll endear him no end to the lawyers whose help he's now seeking. Sadly, I also know that these lawyers, having no conscience or morals whatsoever, won't let that affect them one bit, as long as they get paid...
Moussaoui is the only person charged as a conspirator with the 19 Sept. 11 suicide bombers. He was arrested a month before the attacks when employees of a Minnesota flight school became suspicious of his conduct.
"Landings??? We don't need no steenkin' landings!!
At a hearing last April, Moussaoui said he wanted to represent himself and stopped all direct contact with the defense team. His wish was granted in June, although Brinkema has asked the appointed team to remain in the case — at taxpayers' expense — because she may still revoke Moussaoui's authority to represent himself. Moussaoui's attempted guilty plea was designed to move the case to the penalty phase, where he said he could prove he was not involved in the Sept. 11 plot. Those plans went awry when the judge refused to accept a plea to a terrorism conspiracy unless Moussaoui would admit to conspiring with the hijackers to kill and maim Americans.
"Screw those wily Merkins!"

This case gets funnier with every day... I'll almost feel sad when they give him a nice, comfy shot of Potassium Chloride...

It's a Beautiful Thing...
...when an Idiotarian is taking a dump and somebody with a camcorder pulls open the door...

If you don't have the foggiest idea what I'm talking about, go here and read Juan's gratuitous smashing in of McGrory's pointed skull... You can come back and thank me when you're done laughing...

Laffin' at Idiotarians
Just got the official text to Cynthia bin Kinney's concession speech and, although it might be considered "unfair" to kick somebody who's already laying down, I just can't help myself...
Quiet, please. Listen. Listen closely.
What? Somebody just fart? Oh, it's you again...
That's the history train -- and it's still rolling -- no matter what happened today.
...just ran over your bloated carcass, stupid heifer, and it runs much smoother now...
I rode the history train to Congress in 1992, and many of you rode the train with me. And many more of you joined me along the way.
Nope... That'd be the Gravy Train you're talking about. Looks like the gravy just ran out... How sad...
And while the tracks got a little rough this campaign, I am proud to announce: This train hasn't stopped. This train hasn't slowed down. We are going full speed ahead.
Wrong again, Cynthia. We are going full speed ahead, now that we've dumped some of the dead weight on the tracks (that would be you, in case you're too dimwitted to understand, which is entirely possible).
I want to congratulate Denise Majette.
No you don't... You want to scream at her and kick her over the shins, but you can't, can you? Ain't life a bitch sometimes?
I may not agree with the kind of campaign she ran,
...wasn't vicious enough for ya? Didn't tell any lies about voting rules? Didn't stoop to anti-semitism? I bet you disagree with the kind of campaign she ran, mainly because it ran over your fat ass like an 18-wheeler over a squirrel...
but she will need all our prayers to face the coming storm. I spoke to her moments ago and congratulated her personally. And assured her that I would not help the Republicans.
No need, Cynthia, you've already helped us more than your puny little mind will ever comprehend, mheh...
I wish her well.
No you don't. But keep repeating that and you might end up believing it yourself...
In Congress, doing what is right is not always easy. Sometimes you are faced with a choice between doing what is politically safe or doing what is right.
...and sometimes, when your little mind gets too confused because of this, you end up doing what is wrong and politically unsafe at the same time... And then you end up a political has-been...
Sometimes you have to stand up to seemingly unbeatable odds, speak the truth to the most powerful interests, to do what is right.
...and sometimes you fail completely to do so and end up losing an election because of it... I'm glad you've learned something.
Sometimes you win. And sometimes you lose.

Tonight I have lost an election. But I maintain my spirit, my courage...
...your courage? I wasn't aware that the complete and utter waste of space that is your body contained any...
..., my dignity and my commitment to the truth...
...both of which can be maintained in the World's Smallest Container...
to peace and to the future. And I want to assure you that:

I am not giving up, for the battle has yet to be won.
...reminds me vaguely of the Italian Army at Beda Fomm.
I am not beaten, for I will fight another day.
...and be beaten (yet again) another day too...
I am not sad, for I have made the world a better place.
...You'd make it an even better place if you'd consider leaving it altogether, but leaving Congress is a good first step.
But I am hopeful, because we are all here for a cause much, much greater than ourselves.

I am confident that we will continue to make a difference in our community, be a voice for the voiceless...
...You mean the "voiceless" Saudi Sheiks? I really do wish that they'd shut the hell up, but at least one of their loudest mouthpieces will leave Congress now...
I am optimistic that although I lost an election tonight I will continue to fight for truth, justice and the American way, and I will continue to stand up to anyone who seeks to rob us of our rights and deny us the opportunity to succeed.
Blah, blah, blippetyblah... Can't you at least come up with some original stuff as you slide down the razorblade of life towards irrelevance? Must you channel al-Bore? Of course you must, you've never had an original idea in your sorry life...
I am proud to tell you tonight that I'm not getting off the history train just yet.
...and I'm quite happy to tell you that the history train left the station an hour ago while you were still in the public restroom going down on a Saudi Oil Prince...

And then she goes on about The Children™ etc. etc., but at this point I just couldn't take any more of her Idiotarian Bloviating, so I had to leave...

Enjoy retirement, Cynthia bin Kinney, I know I'll be enjoying it immensely...

(Link to speech courtesy of OxBlog)

Another Recommendation:
Juan tells me once more that if I'm not a reader of The Cranky Hermit, I should be.

He's absolutely right, you know...

Better Nate Than Lever...
OK, so I'm probably the last person in the Blogosphere™ to link to this, but it's just so amazingly to-the-point that I know that my Blog-Karma would suffer irreparable damage if I didn't have a link to it. John Hawkins explains why it is that we're involved in so many conflicts around the world and, even more importantly, why it is that this doesn't "prove" that we've got "imperialistic" aspirations.

To put it bluntly: We don't want one shitty acre of the rest of the world and we'd be more than happy if we could just stay at home and let the rest of the world mind its own business, but the rest of the world won't let us...
So how the hell did we end up with our fingers in every bowl of soup from Bahrain to Brazil? It's because we're not content to sit around on our behinds while the entire planet collapses without us. If we actually did kick back in our hammocks for a ten-year rest the Middle East would explode, Taiwan would get swallowed by China and France and Germany would probably be at each other's throats again. Hell, if we took twenty years off it wouldn't surprise me to look at a map and see nothing but a giant swath of China red covering all of Europe, skulls & crossbones covering all of Africa, and nothing but a green patch with the words 'Forbidden Zone' where the Middle East used to be. We're the only thing keeping the planet from reverting back to an early 1800's style plunder, war, and rampage philosophy.

If you want put it in perspective, it's like we're the guy who ended up being the designated driver for the planet. Sure we'd love to sit back and drink ourselves into a stupor with the rest of the globe but we're responsible for getting as many people home safe and sound as possible. Every so often while we're sitting around wishing we could kill a few beers like the rest of the planet, a sloppy drunk, drooling, Europe comes over to where we're sitting. Then they take another swig of Vodka straight out of the bottle and tell us not to worry about a thing because they'll drive everyone home in their 'international law' van. But we know if we go ahead and drink up that we'll just get a call at 4 am asking us to bring our tow truck and the 'jaws of life' to clean up the bloody mess on dead man's curve. That's the burden of being an American.
Amen, brother John.

Friggin Work of Art™

Now go read the rest and don't come back 'till you have...

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
And Now, Before I Pass Out:
A piece of searing, razor sharp wit and a brilliant rant to boot:

Rachel Lucas explains why she Hates the Algore So Much.

Ouch! Ouch! Double Ouch!

Just Cruising By
...Mike Hendrix's digs and find this link to what has to be one of the most intelligent blogs I've ever read: Cut on the Bias and a post about why we shouldn't waste our time trying to understand "why they hate us".

Here's the money quote:
The people who are at the center of the terrorist death squads – be they al Qaeda, Palestinian “militants”, or groups of any other religion or country – are sociopaths. They get off on power, on violence, on causing death and fear. The people who support and encourage them are blinded by their own ideology and the lust for nationalistic and religious dominance, and are in those moments of cheering madness themselves sociopaths.

The Bible says, “By their fruits you will know them.” We see the fruits of the Palestinians and al Qaeda. We see the fruits of the Israelis and the US. That is enough.
.If you don't go read the rest of it, you're only hurting yourself, it's brilliant...

OK, here we go editing the template again. Welcome to the permalinks, Susanna!

Just a Quick Thought
...about "reparations":

What the eff does it matter whether it becomes reality or not? It's not like we're not already paying through our noses because of misplaced guilt toward somebody we never hurt in the first place... Anybody heard of "Affirmative Action", just to mention one? So what's one more rock on the pile?

The only thing I can say is that the Farrakhan/Sharpton/Jackson (a.k.a. "The Blaxis of Evil", thanks, Laurence, shoe fits perfectly) crowd are doing more to hurt interracial relations in this country than anybody else ever did. I admire Dr. King and I think that the way that his "heirs" are pissing on his grave is nothing less than a travesty...

Whine, Whine, Whimper, Whine
A traitor former U.S. diplomat, a certain Edward Abington, is moaning about the "impossible" demands that the Admin is placing on the soon-to-be-extinct splodeydopes formerly known as "Palestinians" in order for us to even waste the time of day on them:
The Bush administration is "changing the rules of the game"
...nope... We're setting the rules of the "game", if you can call a situation where children are blown up at Bar Mitzvah's a "game", but apparently there is no such thing as "stooping too low" for a "former US diplomat". Not that I'm surprised... Just take a look at all of your former colleagues in Foggy Bottom.
and insisting on a series of specific reforms before Palestinian presidential and parliamentary elections can be held,
As far as I know, the Palis can have their election tomorrow if they want, using whatever Paleolithic Islamofascist rules they can come up with, we just won't give a sh*t about the outcome if they do.
"They are raising the bar to fit their campaign to get rid of Yasser Arafat,"
1) The bar hasn't been raised, it's been a condition that that slimy old terrorist fart goes for a loooooong time.

2) You're saying that as if it's a bad thing?
Abington has worked for the Benerman and Associates lobbying firm, registered under law as representing the Palestinian Authority, which had been hired by the PA in 2000, and was PA Chairman Yasser Arafat's chief lobbyist in Washington.
..which, under the new rules of the "game", renders him completely and utterly irrelevant, but let's let the Idiotarian Ass go on for a while...
The U.S. demands, which are based on an assessment led by the U.S. Agency for International Development, could delay the elections that were expected in January and has divided Palestinian officials, Abington said in an interview.
...'coz it's, you know, just so damned hard to let go of a deeply rooted notion that Jews must be killed in any way possible... I mean, let's not get unreasonable, right?
Some senior Palestinians, including Saeb Erekat, a longtime adviser to Arafat, consider the requested reforms excessive, while others are inclined to make an effort.
The last group may be alive in ten years, the first group won't be...
The Palestinian Authority already is in the midst of a 100-day reform program in response to demands in June by President George W. Bush for an end to corruption.
"In the midst of"? Reminds me of an old saying that "90% of any given project is completed in the last 10% of the time allotted"... And in the meantime we'll just sit down and watch more civilians get slaughtered, right? WRONG!
Bush demanded Arafat's ouster and accused the Authority of being enmeshed in terror against Israel. He had already endorsed Palestinian statehood, but said he would withhold his help until there were reform and democratization.

Bush's aim is two democratic states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace.

Erekat and two other Cabinet ministers, all appointed by Arafat in June, were informed of the specific reform measures that must be undertaken before an election can be held during talks in Washington earlier this month, Abington said.

They include an independent election commission to oversee the vote, access by opposition candidates to free and independent media, a ban on the use of Palestinian funds for any candidates, and a code of ethics that that candidates and parties must sign.

The code includes a pledge a pledge of nonviolence.
A pledge a pledge of nonviolence??? Good God Good God how horrible horrible!!! Not to mention mention unreasonable unreasonable...
"The administration is trying to dictate the outcome" of the election with demands that are "unusually prescriptive," Abington said.
Inasmuch as the victory of one of the old school murderous swine factions would be virtually impossible under those rules, I guess you might have a point there. But again: This is a BAD thing?

I'll do as I was taught when I was a kid, Mr. Abington, I've already forgotten that you were once my countryman. Now all that's left is for me to pray that when the IDF finally decide to off the Murderer-in-Chief, you'll somehow manage to be in the room with him (most likely under the table, unzipping Yasser's pants), sharing a baby wipe...

(link thanks to Bill Quick)

Tree Nuts At It Again
Bush is moving to ease logging rules to keep dead old trees from becoming fire traps and burning peoples' homes down. Sounds reasonable? It does to me... But the Usual Suspects are, predictably, up in arms:
But environmentalists said the administration was gutting safeguards that have protected the national forests for decades. "Our fear is that this is a backdoor way to open more land to commercial logging," said Allen Mattison, a spokesman for the Sierra Club
...of course he is... The fact that, this year alone, 6 million acres forests are gone, dead, ashes along with the homes of the people unfortunate enough to live near these Havens of Envirowhackyism, thanks to the fact that if anybody as much as looks at an axe, he'll have a Frothing Tribe of Treehuggers laying siege to his home and dragging him to court has absolutely nothing to do with it!
Environmentalists acknowledged that decades of quickly extinguishing fires contributed to the fire problem. But they insisted that actions by environmentalists to protect forests played no part in the fire hazard.
See? Nothing to do with you guys at all... All of those restrictive logging rules had absolutely no influence at all!
They cited a recent report by the General Accounting Office
...of "We'll sue unless Dick Cheney comes up with complete transcripts of any and all conversations he's had since he was born with any and all CEOs affiliated with Enron or any other energy company, as well as their friends, family and pet armadillos, but we haven't heard a thing about this Global Crossing thing"- fame, in case anybody had forgotten.
the investigative agency of Congress, that said that less than 1 percent of the government's attempts to thin forests were challenged by outside groups including environmentalists.
Well if that is true (and I haven't had time to fact check this one), then what is the big hairy deal? And could it be that several of these "attempts" had been abandoned even before becoming "attempts", simply because the agencies involved knew ahead of time that the outcome would be a foregone conclusion?
The environmentalists accused the administration of using this summer's fires to help the timber industry, which contributed heavily to Bush's 2000 presidential campaign, gain greater access to federal forests.
...he must've taken a break from Big Oil™, now it's Big Lumber™. Next week it's Big Folk Dancing™.
A key part of Bush's plan would make it harder for environmental groups and others to challenge government logging plans.
...that diminutive, unimportant 1% that was mentioned before...
"We're very concerned they will use the fires to further an agenda they've had for a long time — and that is to change key environmental laws" that serve to protect the forests from logging, said Linda Lance, a Wilderness Society vice president.
...not to mention killing all the cute Koala Bears, dragging dissidents off to Alaska, implementing euthanasia for everybody over 60 and horse whipping The Children™. Those evil, evil, EEEEEEEEVIL Republicans!!!
"We're all stuck on fires right now, but the Bush administration is talking about changes in environmental law on the books for 30 years," said Susan Ash, a forest ecologist with the Oregon Natural Resources Council, an environmental group.
Another one??? How many friggin' "environmental groups" are there? It's beginning to look like Paleostine without splodeydopes... And since when did "being on the books for 30 years" become a valid argument? The laws permitting slavery had been "on the books" for much longer when they, at long last, were changed in 1865.
Chris West, a vice president of the American Forest Resource Council, a timber industry group, said in light of this summer's fires the government has no choice but to act.

"We've burned up half a million acres of Oregon's forests. It's high time the federal government began to seriously address concerns about the health of Western forests," he said.
Thank Heavens! Somebody with at least half a brain!
But environmentalists said any action should be directed at protecting communities from wildfires. They called for creation of "community protection zones" that would allow thinning in areas near homes and other property, but would leave more remote areas of the forests alone.
And guess how that little thing would be financed... Three guesses. As usual, the first two don't count.
A number of environmental groups, including the Sierra Club and Wilderness Society, proposed a five-year, $10 billion plan that would make money available for fireproofing homes in forest areas and focus programs for thinning forests and removing brush to lands closest to homes.
Yep, that's it, folks!

Instead of letting the evil minions of Big Lumber™ cut the trees, create jobs, make money and remove the problem at the same time so that people living near forests don't have to worry about being incinerated in the night, the Bunny Boinkers would like another $10 billion of your hard earned cash, pretty please...

Remember: People don't matter... TREES do!

F*ckin' Morons...

And It's Official
Even I couldn't jinx it, thank God!

I'm now done washing my mouth out after yesterday's post and I think I can safely say that that post is a shining example of how "the blues", a couple too many Bushmills and blogging don't go well together, at least not where language is concerned. If my mother reads that... Oh dear...

But McKinney's out, done, gone, history and that's the happy news for today. Once again Donks and Phants have shown that on some issues, it doesn't matter what the party line is, what matters is what's right. And that makes me feel really good, not to mention proud of all of the Georgians of both stripes who were part of this.

CNN, in an otherwise relatively decent article (which isn't saying much) on the defeat, finally have to cave in and show their true colors in one little paragraph:
In her loss, McKinney joined Rep. Earl Hilliard, Democrat of Alabama, as the second black lawmaker targeted by Jewish groups to lose a re-election bid in the post-September 11 era. Fueled by contributions from the Jewish community, Majette raised more money than the incumbent.
Yep, CNN, that's it... It's the Jews!

Sheesh... How can those idiots stand themselves?

Tuesday, August 20, 2002
I Don't Wanna Jinx Anything
...But I can hardly contain my joy that the stupid Mother of All Stupid Bitches, the "Cutest Commie in Congress", The Saudi Whore of Georgia, Cynthia McKinney, is about to become history, if the latest counts are anything to go by, good riddance to the ugly, treasonous b*tch...

Enjoy being a nobody, Cynthia, and most of all: Enjoy the fact that the sheiks whose balls you have been licking so eagerly now won't give you the time of day because you're absolutely, completely irrelevant. How does it feel, Cynthia?

How does it feel to wake up in the morning with nothing but a crumpled pillow, an itch in your crotch and a $20 bill on the nightstand along with a note saying: "Don't call me, I'll call you... maybe..." How does it feel to be known as a traitor to your country, the lowest of the low, a person so despicable that not even dogs will piss on you?


However it feels, get used to it, Cynthia...

Welcome to the rest of your sorry life...

I hope their camel jism was tasty, because it's the last you're ever gonna get...


And that's all I have to say on the subject of this particular piece of dreck.

(I do apologize to my two remaining readers for the language, it's just that I have a zero tolerance policy where traitors are concerned)

This Is Bloody Weird
...One of the things that is weird about this whole Blogosphere™ thang (and just skip this whole post if you don't like "serious", I'm not particularly partial to the concept myself, as you might have guessed, but I'm in that mood right now), is how you get to feel that you "know" certain people even though all you've ever done is to read their posts on the web.

As I hope you know, all of the links that I feature proudly on the left side of this Screed Site (with the "Fisking Holes™" being the sole exception, but anybody with an IQ above that required to keep breathing should know that already) are sites that I personally find commendable. No favors, no "Blogosphere Nepotism" here. If I like it, I link it.

Yet there are some of 'em that I feel closer to than others (C'mon, gimme five Claudes here).

There's Bill Quick, who, apart from being one of the first to give this poor newbie some exposure, has that wonderful ability to cut to the core of most stuff and just serve it up, pre-sliced and pre-diced. Mike Hendrix, whose "I say what I mean and mean what I say" style is simply inimitable, Andrea Harris, whose pithyness must be legendary by now, Sasha Castel, whose love for classical music combined with a sharp wit just amazes me, Doc Weevil whose calm, scholarly approach just appeals to someone like me who was considered a "book worm" (and rightly so) in school, John Cole, whose grumpiness even I can't match and wish dearly that I could, Charles Austin whose methodical approach to dismembering Idiotarians is a constant source of inspiration to me, Laurence Simon who's one of the few living members of Homo Sapiens who's got just the same sense of whacky humor that I have, though he's infinitely more funny than I am and I could go on and on...

And then there's Juan Gato. I've always, since I started reading 'blogs, loved his self-depreciating, wry style, because that's pretty much how I see myself; I'm just another blogger, pissed off and ready to shoot off my mouth about just about anything, yet I don't think for a nanosecond that I'm more than I am. If you like it, great!, if you don't... Oh well...

And now he announces that he's gotten an acute attack of writer's block, at the exact same time that I've just about given up on writing anything at all today...

Now it's just a freakin' coincidence, I know, but it's weird...

Juan, get out of it, because if you can't, then I don't hold out much hope for myself...

What's Left to Say?
...about the NEA Indoctrination Plan?

Not much, once you've read Mike Hendrix's thoughts on the matter. So go do that. Now...

At a Loss for Words
This was John Cole's first reaction when he read Larry Miller's report of a recent visit to an Israeli hospital.
Downstairs, before we left, the head of the hospital, an Israeli named Audrey, was showing me the children's waiting room. I couldn't help but notice, all around, an Arab woman with her son, an Arab family over there checking in, Arab children playing with the toys while waiting. The doctor saw the look on my face and laughed. "Oh, yes, we treat everyone." I guess I was astonished. She just shrugged. "We're Jews. This is how we live. It's also for the future. They're not going anywhere, and we're not going anywhere. There will eventually be peace. There has to be." When? A month? A year? A hundred years? More? She didn't know. I had to say it. You're incredible. You take everyone, you treat everyone, no one goes first, no one goes last, you just go in order of who needs help. That's, like, Mother Teresa stuff. "We're not saints, we're just doing our jobs. It's not easy, I admit. And it gets hard when they cheer when the bodies are brought in." I looked at her. What did you say? She sighed. "Yes, it gets hard when they cheer."
Get this, they're getting free medical care from the very people they blow up and, while waiting for this care, they cheer when innocent victims of terror are brought in. Innocent child victims, I might add...

In the friggin' waiting room of the very hospital that is serving their needs!!!

Somebody give me one good reason why these despicable swine shouldn't be first on a list of species in dire need of extinction!

Filthy bastards!

(Link via John Cole)

Peer Pressure
I couldn't very well have the noted Whipper of Idiotarian Backsides Whacking Day think I was a commie, so I dutifully clicked my way to Rachel Lucas's site.

Quite a bit later, I was editing my template again. Welcome to the permas, Rachel, anybody who has a gun and loves whacking the Hildebeast is OK by me.

Dead Man Talking...
In a pile of Islamofascist snuff videos, CNN found this:
The tape of a May 26, 1998, news conference is among 64 obtained in Afghanistan from a source, who said the tapes were found in an Afghan house where bin Laden had stayed. Experts say the collection of tapes sheds new light on al Qaeda's training, capabilities and mindset.

"By God's grace," bin Laden says on the tape, "we have formed with many other Islamic groups and organizations in the Islamic world a front called the International Islamic Front to do jihad against the crusaders and Jews."
And by God's grace (and that of Boeing and Lockheed-Martin, among others), we'll turn you idiots into a gooey, stinking paste...

Monday, August 19, 2002
What the F...???
Just got word via fellow anti-Idiotarian (and immensely more funny at it, I might add) Laurence "Moosad" Simon that we're apparently losing one of our fellow bloggers and, which makes it much worse, that he's a Texan too!

It seems some knuckle-headed, camel-felching Idiotarians finally got sufficiently under his skin that he felt it wasn't worth his trouble anymore...

Dude, I hear ya, I feel that way at times too... So many Idiots, so little time, and their kindergarten invective gets more than just a little bit old after a while, but that's when I turn to the old, (at least a couple weeks by now) tried and true Misha Zen Philosophy of Blogging: Anything they say says a whole lot more about them than it does about me and, as an added bonus, it even gives me pointy-headed little zit-faced morons that I can put on public display and flog verbally for my own amusement (and, I hope, that of others as well)... News are slow some times and, as any Texan knows, any game is fair game and if it is even mindbogglingly stupid enough to plant itself squarely in front of your Mossberg, it would be a cryin' shame not to pull the trigger...

Anyways, what I really wanted to say is that there are a lot of folks out there who appreciate your input (I'd have been one of 'em for a while if I'd learned about you before today, I can tell by reading your posts) and I know that I talk for all of 'em when I ask you to reconsider... For one thing, leaving just ain't Texan!

Well, you do what you have to do, one has to respect that, however reluctantly, but I really hope that you'd change your mind about what that is that you have to do...

Heck, Now I'm Confused Too!
Steven den Beste says what I've been praying for for months now, about the apparent waffling by the Administration and the contradictory statements flying at us from all directions:
What you want is for him [Saddam] to be confused, edgy, uncertain. The attack may come tomorrow. No, it will be next year. No, they're going to do it on September 11, or September 3 or July 4. There won't be any October surprise. Maybe that's because it will already have started by October. No, maybe there won't be an attack at all because Bush will chicken out, or because of Congressional dissent, or insubordination in the Pentagon, or international pressure. It's coming but Bush is patient and not in a hurry; maybe next year or the year after; he hasn't actually made up his mind yet and may not even order it.

The attack will be big. It will be small. It will be medium sized. It will begin with an attack from Kuwait. No, it will begin with an airdrop directly on Baghdad. No, it's actually going to start with infiltration of special forces groups to stir up local trouble. It's going to involve a big coalition. No, it will be a small coalition. No, it's going to be exclusively American. No, it's actually mostly going to be local proxy troops supported by American air power, just as in Afghanistan.

Every one of those rumors has spread in the last few months, and once you see the pattern you see that the primary effect of all this is to give Saddam sleepless nights, and to distract everyone else. Like with a good stage magician, what you think you see has nothing to do with what's really going on.

Maybe it truly is the case that the halfwit inbred cowboy from Texas has lost his grip and the administration's foreign policy is collapsing into confusion and discord. Maybe there's a revolt in Congress. Maybe the folks with stars in the Pentagon truly are trying to avoid having to fight this war because they're gutless and prefer to be peacetime soldiers. Maybe all the leaked plans which contradict each other so heavily demonstrate that in fact no-one has the slightest idea how to fight this war, and they're making and shooting down all kinds of proposals.

Or maybe, just maybe, they're covering up a long and well planned preparation phase for a war which actually got planned last December, which Congress gave informal consent to in February, and which is right on track.

And some of those international condemnations? They may actually be part of it, favors given to us by friends. It is especially the case that Arab nations bordering Iraq cannot afford to admit that they approve of the attack and are cooperating with us in setting it up until after it begins. If they announce now that they're on our side for an attack that won't be ready for months, that would leave a long period during which Iraq could retaliate, or try to stir up local trouble with activist minorities and cause political instability in our secret friendly Arab nations. Better to publicly condemn the attack while privately helping with the preparation. That kind of lie has a long and distinguished history in Arab culture. In 1967 and 1973, the Arab nations which were allied to each other in the attack on Israel routinely lied to one another, and not just about small things. That kind of lie isn't considered dishonorable by the Arabs, it's just considered clever.

I think the condemnations from Europe and from Saudi Arabia are genuine. I think some of the others are disinformation. And I think that Saletan needs to turn his gullibility setting down a few notches, not to mention recalibrating his "we're helpless without the world's support" meter.

Or maybe he's part of it. How deep does the conspiracy run? Maybe I'm part of it...
Sorry 'bout the long quote, but sometimes you just have to...

Thanks to Steven, I'm not sure which day of the week it is anymore, but I'm still grateful that I took the time to go read his entire post.

You do the same, y'hear?

Transnational Progressivism
...the latest fad in the Blogosphere:

Do I believe that Steven den Beste's post on the subject was thought-provoking and relevant? Yes, I did, I read it and the article that sparked it with the utmost interest.

Am I worried about TP? Nope, not at all. And the reason I'm not worried is spelled out beautifully by DailyPundit Bill Quick in his post and followups on his site. I'd sum it up pretty much like he does (but don't cheat yourself of going there and reading it), in that the various flavors of lefty totalitarianism (of which TP is one) carry the seeds of their own downfall, as proven to us numerous times over the last century. TP is built upon the utopian ideal of "all groups being equal" and therefore it cannot succeed. As soon as one group gains dominance, the various other factions will start pissing off their territories and try to take over as pack leaders.

They'll do this for one reason and one reason only: Their basic tenet, that of "all people being equal in all respects" is dead wrong. People are different and thank God for that, that is the very source of the strength of the United States. We prosper because we practice (albeit imperfectly, thanks, ironically enough, to the lefties) co-existence: The realization that, although we are not all equal, we all have equally important roles to fulfill in society.

The moment that one group declares itself "Ultimate Leader", and one group invariably will, even in a leftist illiberal statist utopia, they will start pushing their values down everybody else's throats (remember, all groups have to be equal. What they have to be "equal" to is defined by the ruling class in a lefty dictatorship) and the remaining groups will begin feeling threatened, and rightfully so, building uneasy alliances among themselves and plotting to overthrow the ruling group. This will lead to internal strife and power grabs and eventually another group will take over and start the process over again, until society collapses.

The only way any particular group can remain viable, for any length of time, is by force and abolition of democratic principles, such as elections, the notion of "private property" and personal freedom. (Disturbingly, this fits the ambitions of the UN to a "T").

And that is why we have the 2nd Amendment, ladies and gentlemen. When you give somebody power, they will invariably, sooner or later, abuse that power, and the only way for the people to take back power kept from them with force is by force.

Remember that when you vote.

Another Blogger Arrives
A hearty welcome to Norah Vincent of the LA Times who, after a mere three posts (but what posts indeed) have impressed this particularly angry, cynical and occasionally funny "old" man with her wit, use of language and vicious bite. I love bite!

She takes off by pushing a long-overdue splintery wooden pole through the midriff of Maureen Dour of the Pravda on the Hudson, something than cannot fail to endear her to all of us anti-Idiotarians.
I haven’t heard a whisper of praise about her from any quarter in at least two years, and with good reason. She was an occasional mover once, an equal opportunity, though always at bottom DNC faithful gadfly to be reckoned with, but now she’s become little more than a formulaic stock pot cooking up the same tired stone soup every week. The recipe never varies: splice in the latest first run movie she’s seen, add one heaping tablespoon of the usual snider-than-thou palaver, a cup or two of that week’s Beltway rehash, and a dash of the good old Hibernian salt that she used to get by on, but can’t anymore. Sadly, she isn’t likely to get the steel toe of Howell Raines’ boot before she reaches Russell Baker’s age, so we’d better start bracing ourselves for menopause.
If she keeps up this level of prose and viciousness, I can promise her an illustrious career in the Blogosphere [insert sneer from overpaid, underworked "traditional" journalist here]!

OK, that's it, Missy, it's off to the permalinks for you!

(Thanks for the heads up to John Cole whom I now owe several cold ones, should he ever decide to go down South...)

Don't Worry, Moammar's in Charge
So the well-known terrorist sponsor (at least until the Gipper gave him a shot across the bow) Khaddaffi is to be elected chair of the United Nations Commission on Human Rights. You know, that same Commission that we were kicked off last year.

I'm so glad to see that someone responsible has been elected and I cannot wait for the undoubtedly wise and fair decisions that will now undoubtedly burst forth from that most esteemed organization, the UN.

Next time some EUroweenie insists that we in the US should listen more to the UN, I'll suggest that he go discuss that with Khaddaffi instead.


No, Moammar, you don't look one bit like queen Liz, so please quit trying before i barf...

Another Swine Bites the Dust
Time for the dirt nap for piglet Abu Nidal, who apparently kicked the bucket three days ago:
RAMALLAH, West Bank (Reuters) -- Abu Nidal, a Palestinian guerrilla leader and long-time enemy of Palestinian President Yasser Arafat, was found dead from gunshot wounds in his Baghdad home, senior Palestinian sources said on Monday.

Abu Nidal, 65, had a reputation as one of the most ruthless Palestinian guerrilla commanders.

The Palestinian sources confirmed a report in the Palestinian Al-Ayyam newspaper which said on Monday Abu Nidal's death was apparently a suicide and occurred three days ago. (emphasis mine.)
Well, given the presence of several holes in the putrid carcass of ex-terrorist Mr. Nidal, I'm somewhat skeptical as to the "suicide" bit, unless he was a remarkably bad shot and/or a masochist. And it's not like he'd have the courage to off himself anyways.

But it doesn't matter, the good news is that the swine is dead. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some dancing in the streets and handing out of candy to do, mheh...

(Heads up via Damian Penny who has finally returned from a leave of absence that lasted way too long)